An Unspoken Code

Experts say that children with autism lack social graces that are inborn in us.  They might speak their mind matter-of-factly even if it hurts someone's feelings and then lack the ability to sympathize.  I want to know what is the excuse if you aren't autistic.  If you confide in someone your deepest feelings and fears, what gives a friend the right to tell the exact person you're worried about everything you said.  I tend to take common sense for granted.  I take for granted that the average human being will internalize a friend's confidences that would then create a bond of closeness.  There is an unspoken code that the brain utlilizes in dealing with fellow humans.  If a person confides in you something it should not be a goal to tell another person (especially the person you're worried about) what someone has said in order to spare their feelings.  Now if bodily harm or kidnapping might result, it would be wise to tell said person of such. 

Now I have someone I love very dearly worried and insulted all because someone didn't know when to keep their mouth shut.  Since such a person might read my blog I can't go into details.  Hopefully they have the sense to know it's them.  But for the general reader, don't take social graces for granted.  And don't think just because you have common sense, the person you're confiding in does too, even if (especially if) they are a family member.  Next time I'll interview the next candidate I talk to.

The Only Advantage to Being Alone...

My daughter started preschool this week.  I have been raving to my friends how great this alone time will be.  Afterall, I spent all of my 20s pregnant, nursing or caring for an offspring in one way or another.  She's the last one out of the nest.  I should feel esctatic!  Dropping her off at preschool, I felt happy for her.  She's not a sit at home kind of girl.  She knew the moment was bittersweet as well.  One minute she's pushing me to my car, the next she says she loves me and kisses me goodbye.  Aloneness.  Freedom.  I felt for a minute like a crazy reckless teenager.  I could go anywhere, do anything.  But that quickly passed, and I felt sad to be alone.  I remembered the one thing I couldn't do with my kids that I love:  belting out sad Broadway songs.  My kids hate that.  Nothing makes me feel more alive than singing those songs.  The first time I discovered this was going to get in the way of my children enjoying their homelife with me, was when my son was two.  I thought I was alone doing dishes one night.  I was listening to the soundtrack of Ragtime  when Audra McDonald sings "Your Daddy's Son." One of my favorite songs of all time, but very depressing.  I open my eyes at the end of the chours to see my son looking terrified of me, like he didn't know who I was.   I calmed him down but realized I would be limited in my song choice from now on.  So I have discovered the one advantage to being by myself for those hours:  Broadway's most heart-wrenching soundtrack filling my house.  Now I just have to worry about complaints from the neighbors.

Review of <em>Emily of New Moon</em> and <em>Emily Climbs</em>

I started late in life as a fan of Lucy Maud Montgomery.  At the ripe old age of 17, a friend showed me the Anne of Green Gables movie and I was obsessed.  No matter that most girls start adoring the books by 12.  I have come to see that it is a misconception to believe that only "young adults" can appreciate the books this author has written.  Yes, the Anne books might have started when Anne was 12.  But, the last in the series Rilla of Ingleside finishes when she is in her 50's.  There are many nuances and exposures of hidden sociological guilty pleasures of her time that are very applicable today that a 12 year old could not understand.  But I digress...

Emily of New Moon and Emily Climbs are the first two books in a trilogy.  I had never read anything by Montgomery except the Anne books so it took a little bit of time for me to care about Emily and this new cast of characters on Prince Edward Island.  I held on and in time I saw she was not just writing about another young girl with no parents. As I researched the book, I came to learn she was roundaboutly writing about herself.  That made the series all the more interesting.  There was a definite "sass" to this series that the Anne books lacked.  She had no qualms telling the reader Emily innermost thoughts (which might have been thought scandalous at the time) as long as she reminded you she was only the storyteller, not Emily's judge.  So, there was a definite freeness of speech that Montgomery showed as she seemed to tell every bit of Emily's story with care and reflection.  For anyone who knows Anne, Emily is worth getting to know.

"Iron Legion" Released

My latest audio Iron Legion is available to order at the DWAD site.  Instructions for ordering are here.  In a few weeks it will be available for downloading on their site. It's about a world whose culture has been deeply affected by a very old foe of the Doctor's.  Here is the trailer for Iron Legion (RealAudio format).  Below is the cover art (click for a larger image):



My character Moira Skye is developing nicely... it's been great fun to record.  Julio and I have a "tradition" of listening to the king of infamous voice overs, Mr. Orson Welles, for "inspiration" before we start recording a story. The famous frozen peas commercial he did in 1968 is the best for a laugh.  I'm still waiting ever so patiently for reviews to come out on my last audio The Napoleon of Shadows.

I'll be recording my next story, Project Alpha, this month. 

In unrelated news, Disney will be releasing the Little Mermaid III in the next year. I never even knew they were planning one!  Well, anyone that needs an Ariel for their audiodramas can e-mail me.

Unconventional Ways to Save Money

I have been an official SAHM for 3 months.  This does not denote the luxury that staying at home might be for certain moms.  It is up to me to stretch the paycheck as far as it will go.  If I were a lawyer, I might have extra money to hand out to babysitters.  As previously discussed in my area, I would not be able to get a job that would make it worth paying daycare, the cost of gas, etc.  So I would like to share some little known facts to stretch your dollar.  When I worked for the dentist, he stressed using a paste made of baking soda and hydrogen perxiode.  It clears up any gum disease you might have, plus the baking soda whitens your teeth.  For children, this does not apply because they need toothpaste with fluriode. 

As consumers, I think we've unintentionally become helpless, depending on food manufacturers to pre-cook everything for us and package everything in separate baggies.  This applies to popcorn.  When's the last time you made your own popcorn?  Isn't popcorn just something you buy prepackaged and stick in the microwave?  I didn't become interested in making my own until the FDA came out with a preliminary study that revealed popcorn bags are treated with a grease repellant coating that breaks down into a carcinogen. I have the link here.  I saw on the today show that you can simply put kernels in a brown paper lunch bag, fold it down a few times and stick it in the microwave.  For five bags of prepackaged popcorn it's $1.87.  For the same amount of kernels Wal-mart brand was $0.87.  You'll say, "Karen, that's not going to taste good!"  Au contraire, my daughter loves it with canola oil and salt.  You can buy butter flavoring and sleep well with the thoughts that you are helping the enviornment by staying away from all that packaging and feel good you might possibly be protecting your family from a carcinogen.  Did I mention it's healthier?

My friend and I are doing a Racheal Ray clothing swap party soon.  This was a segment last week where women get together and bring clothes they can't wear for their friends to try on and swap.  I thought we'd take it a step further and bring jewelry too.  Serve snacks and wine and what could be better?  Your family budget can't argue with that. 

As I discover more, I'll share more.  Feel free to share your tips!

Raising Children 101

I feel America needs a refresher course in the raising of their children.  Since common sense has gone out the window, I'm going to attempt to fish it out of the gutter and back into everyone's mind.  It's sad to think of the many abortions that happen everyday.  It's sad to think of the women that didn't have abortions, but still don't supply the basic necessities to their children.  Perhaps there is a fantasy that exists in one's mind about how you want to raise your child, then realize it would take a lot of money you don't have to make that a reality.  All I know is, there seems to be an anger that exists in parents that is taken out on their children.  So here are some simple reminders of all that children really need.

Patience.  They need you to be patient with them.  If you are disciplining them, don't be harsh.  If they are doing something wrong, look at the way you're teaching them, don't think they are stupid for not understanding.

Time.  In order to teach children, you need some uninterrupted time with them everyday.  If this seems hard for you, set a timer.

Distraction.  Children do not need fancy toys.  They have an imagination already built in. Old pots and pans, wooden spoons, cardboard boxes, safe items that you don't use. You can make playdough with food coloring, hot water, salt, and flour.  Don't stress that your children don't have the biggest and best toys.  They would pick free time with you anyday rather than a new toy. 

Nourishment.  This needs to be said because of stories of parents that punish their children by starving them.  Never withhold food from children as a punishment.  There is something called "time out" that actually works.  You don't have to be stressed over the marketing of children tv dinners, cereal, etc.  It's very inexpensive to make simple food yourself that will taste better anyway.  Also, breastfeeding does not cost you a cent, whereas formula is very pricey.  Think about it. 

Compassion.  Children need to be taught how to be fully functioning adults. Think of them like a blank canvass.  By being gentle with them, you are painting a beatiful portrait.  If you fill their mind with your loud-mouth yelling and cover their bodies with bruises from your short-tempered hand, you have painted a canvass that sticks out like a sore thumb of what a horrible human being you are. 

Love.  Soften your heart when your child looks at you adoringly.  Soften your heart when they make a mistake and look to you for help.  You are all they have in a heartless world.  Even child victims of abuse don't want to leave their parents when they are taken away to somewhere safer.  How much more will your child appreciate you for their entire life, just from you taking a few years away from your full-time pursuits in order to teach them how to be a human being.  When you have love, the rest falls into place.

 

 

You Can Take the Girl Off the Stage...

I had the rare opportunity to visit NYC for a day in the beginning of November.  I visited sights that I never dreamed I would see in my life.  This was the third time I went to NYC in a thirty year span even though I live only 2 hours away, but this time was a blast!  Being a SAHM(stay-at-home-mom), I crave adventure every once in awhile. Everytime I travel, I don't like to look like a tourist.  It's the actress in me, I guess.  I suffered with high-heeled boots when all the tourists wore sneakers.  We used Grey Hound to get there which I think will be the last time.  We went on a freezing day, but in the city we felt warm from the buildings being so close together.  First, we spent too much time in the Virgin Music store, saw ABC Studios (which does not offer a tour to my disappointment). Then, had lunch in Planet Hollywood.  I guess when you visit very touristy restaurants, managers bring you in like a herd of cattle and expect the servers to handle being sat with 4 parties at once.  Since this was a kid-free trip, we didn't mind the wait.  Why?  Because they have wonderful costumes on display that make you forget how hungry you are.  There were the costumes from the Sound of Music, 

(yes, these same costumes right here!), Grease, Star Wars, Titanic, and my hubby's favorite:  Spock's pointy ears, and the Enterprise model from the first three Star Trek movies.  We saw where the Today show cast comes out every morning.  We took the NBC Studios Tour in Rockafeller Plaza. 

 

This was my favorite.  The first 20 minutes were hokey.  We watched a video about the humble beginnings of NBC. Then the tour guides picked someone from our tour group to be an anchorman and weatherman.  We got to sit and watch them in a pretend studio.  Then it was off to see where Conan O'Brien hosts his show.  The studio was suprisingly small and very cold.  They told us a special lens makes the studio appear wider on TV (that's where the gain 10 pounds thing comes from) and they needed to keep it cold because of the hundreds of lights over our heads.  Then we got to see where SNL films from behind huge windows.  Unfortunately, no one was practicing since there would be no show that paticular Saturday.  It didn't even look like the set, because earlier that week there was a conference held there.  It looked only a little wider than a high school stage, with three different areas.  Before we caught the bus home, Julio and I stopped at a McDonald's.  I thought the McD's in France were different. (It sold beer with your value meal.) We felt like we were in a club. (OK, so we don't get out much.) There were 3 levels, and on the third level there was a huge projection of music videos on the wall.  The music was loud and the space was low lit.  On the way home, it was an adventure unto itself.  We were in a long line at the bus terminal.  Suddenly, an employee tells us there will not be enough room on the 9:30 bus bound for Philly.  She recommends we take the 9:15 that will stop in Newark and Mt. Laurel.  Sounded good enough, since the next bus after that wouldn't be until 11:00 p.m. We boarded on a full bus and could only sit near eachother.  We see people who were behind us in line leave on the 9:30 no problem.  That bus actually leaves on time.  It felt like an eternity before we could leave.  The bus driver is yelling at a young man while they both board the bus. The man talks back and the driver throws him off.  There was a family that couldn't speak good english and they must have boarded, then unboarded 4 times.  The driver stood outside then to finish a cigarette. So once he sat down, the whole bus erupted in cheers.  That was fun.  The rest of the ride home I slept next to a stranger.  As you might know, I love anything Broadway so I got some nifty souvenirs that were Broadway related.  Hopefully, next time we'll go to actually watch a show!