My son has grown wings...

As you can tell I've been a little too busy to write lately, but am anxious to share my stories with those kind enough to read them.

I want to share with you how Julian has been doing this summer. We had our theater camp end two weeks ago and it was worth all the exhaustion I felt afterwards. One visiting theater director told us, "If the children see you are energetic and excited, then the kids will be too." This is very true for the other actors but Julian. He fought with me every day to go. That unruly boy I mentioned earlier was just too annoying to deal with. This was entirely true, but does that mean you change your routine for one person? I put my blinders on and trudged through, and made him too. What I've learned about raising Julian is you have to be persistent. He'll give you every excuse in the book why he shouldn't do something. He might even give in to tears. But it is worth the struggle in the end.

On the last day we put on our play for the parents. I couldn't enjoy sitting in the audience because I was the "stage manager." I had seen enough rehearsals though to satisfy me. Melissa, the camp director, gave Julian a major role as ring master. He learned his scenes with ease, putting that enormous memory to good use, besides memorizing NASCAR statistics. By showtime he was one of the stars of the show. Without prompting, he recited his lines with proper emphasis and did his own blocking. He also did an improv skit with another girl his age that was reserved for a select few. Melissa said she was very impressed and said he was a natural. He received a lot of compliments afterwards from other parents. He felt proud and, of course, I was beaming.

Madeleine had her moment to shine earlier this year with her recital, so when she had a hard time memorizing her few lines, it was no big deal. She was the youngest in this class and, therefore, was the only one that couldn't read her script. I would prompt her and practice with her, but the whole thing was a little too advanced for her age.

I have always believed that theater excercises are therapeutic for a child. I know this because I benefited from them when I was a teen. I remember when I had to yell at another classmate in an improv excercise. For a quiet wallflower like myself, it was exhilarating. I know with the social issues Julian has; it was just what he needed.

Another wonderful thing happened this summer that was due to our persistence which really paid off. Julian is now an expert bike rider. He was only ever comfortable with his training wheels and always fought us and cried when prodded to try a little harder. Or, it was how his helmet made him uncomfortable, even though it was the right size. This has gone on for years and I put my foot down this year. The first half of the summer was agonizing, when every session would end in bitter tears. I had the idea to let him try coasting down a slight incline to get a feel for the type of balance he would have to maintain. Later on, when I googled how to ride a bike, that is one of the ideas a website suggested. Now it's a piece of cake for him. Some days I can't get him to come inside. He said he loves feeling the wind in his face. Yet another reason for me to cry happy tears over how he has blossomed.

How 10 years fly by...

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. We actually got to go out to a nice Italian restaurant while my sister babysat. Julio made me the equivalent of a mixed tape from those of you old enough to remember those. Now they are called playlists for your iPod. He compiled music we've enjoyed and "us" kind of romantic music we like. We listened to it in the car on the way to and back. It was a nice touch to a great evening.

I thought it was pretty neat to say five years. Now 10 years makes me sound so old. It also is an accomplishment. I can say this after seeing many people I know not make it to five years married together, who got hitched after us. There have been rough patches for us at times, but these were due to external reasons. The core reasons we fell in love have never changed. We still enjoy the same activities together, and laugh at the same type of humor together. We have evolved, and the relationship has to evolve with it. Being parents is the biggest change a relationship can face. This also tends to be, from what I've seen, when people like to call it quits. It is something to ride out. Our children are at an age that they do things together and don't require as much of our attention as they once did. We can start and finish a conversation now when they are awake.

The depression Julio and I have both experienced at different times could have been deal breakers to the average couple. Knowing that this was something to ride out and be patient about has now let us reap the benefits of remaining together. We come out stronger. Don't let me forget to say having God in a relationshp makes it all the better too!

I also think of people that attended our wedding that day. How far away everyone is now, compared to everyone living so close to where it was held in Telford, PA. How lives have changed, and children have grown up and some have been born. Then I thought about all the new wonderful people we have come to know since then that make our life more enjoyable. Oh and if I look serious in this picture, it's because I cried while saying my vows...it was a happy cry.
I want to put out a little video montage of our years together in the next two weeks. Please check back for that. In the meantime, if you want to leave your thoughts here for me, it would mean a lot.

I wouldn't trade the past 10 years for anything. I'm so glad to say I didn't let this one get away. That's why I've been holding him hostage in my basement.

I'm switching to Blogger!

My site karenholliday.com has now become part of the blogger community. The site will be going through some major transformations in the next two weeks, please check back!

Karen--the soccer mom/theater coach

My kids have spent part of their summer in front of the TV, and half of that TV time is on the Wii.  The other part is getting them out doing new things.  Every Friday is soccer camp.  I heard from a local mom about a Top soccer program in my home town of Harleysville at my old middle school.  Top soccer is a non competitive program for children with any kind of emotional, mental, or physical program that prohibits them from entering a competitive program.  With Julian's anxiety, I thought it would be good for him.  Plus, his teachers at school urged me this summer to get him involved in something where he could interact with other kids.  The director told us Madeleine could sign up to when he saw what a fuss she made over not being on the "team."  So now I'm officially a soccer mom. 

The other great thing that fell in my lap was being asked to assist a theater camp for kids.  I'd get paid and my kids could come free!  My children used every excuse in the book not to go.  It's not Julian's thing, and Madeleine followed his lead.  I said today could be a trial.  Madeleine loved it.  If it hadn't been for one of the boys there, Julian would've loved it too.  I don't blame him.  This one little boy who is only six, used inappropriate language, would not sit still, or has any idea what personal space is.  I spent most of my time keeping one step ahead of him so he would not take things from the other kids, step on their feet or annoy them in general.  He left Julian and Madeleine alone but it still bothered Julian to see a child act this way.  This is summer camp, it's not school.  A parent paid for their child to be there.  An inept parent at best, but nonetheless a parent.  How do I know this?  Because I don't care what problem your child has, bad words do not come out of their mouth involuntarily.  They are used regularly in the home for them to become a part of a child's vocabulary.  When I am with him one on one, he does do better.  When he says his lines for our play, he says them with the right emphasis.  I just want to know the right way to get him to pay attention for our week together without losing my temper.  He just ruins things for the rest of all the wonderful kids there.

We played a name game and I led the children in vocal warm-ups before practicing our play that will be performed Friday.  It's called Circus Capers.  Julian is one of two ring masters and Madeleine is a tight rope walker.  What a great (free) opportunity to experience theater like this for them.  I wish I had a mom more like me!

A Relaxing Vacation

My cousin moved down the Jersey shore last year and this was our first summer visiting her home.  An actual vacation complete with hotel and expenses was out of the question this year.  My cousins were gracious to offer us a room.  The vacation was better than any we could ever have at a hotel, plus the coffee was better.  (I stayed with decaf, for those of you aware of my doctor's orders.)

On the ride down, I got a call from my academic advisor with the results from my transcript analysis.  She said I have good news and bad news.  The good news:  I was able to transfer 24 credits from West Chester University to apply to my associates.  I can't remember how many I had altogether, 30 or 40.  She said this was almost unheard of.  The average person carries over about 12.  With that I can graduate late next year!  The bad news?  I have to stop taking the classes I have now or pay for them out of pocket.  Since it took so long for the transcript to go through, I guess it was hard for my academic advisor to know which classes I had to take.  I guess I qualified out of the ones I was taking.  That was good considering that annoying professor in the one.  The other class I'm actually upset I'm not taking anymore.  It was called Critical Thinking.  I might have qualified out of it, but I've never taken a class like it in my life.  What I was most impressed with was the text book. I think it should be required reading for Americans.  It really helps divide rhetoric from truth.  It completely broke down why America invaded Iraq, and how the U.S. didn't check the credibility of its sources before they invaded.  It had a sassy fun writing style that made hard vocabulary fun to learn.  What I was most impressed with was how it called patriotism and nationalism a fallacy in thinking.  That's kind of gutsy to say in America, but it is true.  So I had the week off of school which I haven't had since I began in March.  It was so nice not to have to worry about homework on vacation.

I love feeling completely immersed in my surroundings on vacation, so it's like I got to pretend I lived down the shore.  I love it.  I love the town my cousin lives in, and I love the closeness of the bay.  I love how a free zoo is only 20 minutes away.  The excitement I feel when I'm on the boardwalk, she gets to experience year round.  We went to a used book sale at the Ocean City library the night we got down there (big shock!).  I got the complete Alfred Lord Tennyson poems for a quarter, in light of just watching Anne of Green Gables as a family last week.  I wish I could walk through the woods reciting "The Lady of Shallot" with my new book, but then my kids would really think I was off my rocker.

The next day we went to the Cape May zoo.  This was our first time and we loved it.  It's better than the little zoo in Norristown near us that's getting to cost as much as the Philly zoo.  We hung around a local bookstore and went home.  Sunday was our exciting day going to the beach and taking their boat around the bay.  This was definitely the kids' favorite day.  The boat couldn't go fast enough or go over waves enough for them.  It was better than a ride at an amusement park.  The idea of a boat for transportation is so romantic to me.  I think of how there were parts of Prince Edward Island only accesible by boat a hundred years ago (besides of course access to the mainland).  How wonderful it would be to travel to your destination by boat.  (Yes, I'm still reading my LMM journal, so her life is very much on my mind.) Even Julio got to take command and learned the ropes.  Being on a boat became a very addictive activity for both of us.  That night we waited in line for Mack's boardwalk pizza, it's always worth the wait.

We were on vacation in a packed house and I loved every minute of it.  My cousin and her husband have four girls (big sister + triplets), then my aunt and uncle, and us.  I reconnected with my aunt who I hadn't seen in forever.  It's safe to say I am more like her than any other relative I have, including my sisters.  We are the same height, same blue eyes, and the same love of everything theatrical.  I pressed her for family genealogy since I really don't know enough about that side of the family.  It's comforting to know you are who you are because of a shared genetical background with someone. 

The kids had fun connecting with their cousins, and we grew closer to our family.  My cousin's husband Tim is a pilot was on call the week we went down.  He was asked to fly none other than Yoko Ono!  I would've been more excited about her if I hadn't read Cynthia Lennon's book "John."  Now I know the truth...

Back to reality here, a new class starts Monday.

Loss of a Kindred Spirit

I received a call Friday that Marian the woman I look after was going to die today.  It was a big shock to me.  I just had a nice visit with her in the hospital two weeks ago.  She was alert and talkative.  She was set to go home in a few days.  What I didn't know was that she lost the will to live.  She was tired of suffering.  Her daughter Margie who is a nurse put her on hospice care and said there was every indication that she would die.

We were all out shopping when I received the call and rushed to her house.  The kids stayed in the living room having fun with her husband Don while I went to her bedside.  Julian had a sense of what was going on but playing his Gameboy with Don was a nice distraction.  Madeleine really didn't ask too many questions and was happy enough playing with their cats to think about anything.  When I approached Marian, I could tell she was conscious.  Her eyes widened when she saw me.  Because of her oxygen mask, she couldn't talk.  I brushed her hair with my hands and told her about Madeleine's ballet recital and things that I knew she would like to hear.  I stayed at her side for awhile but could hear the children getting a little ramy.  I told her I loved her and kissed her forehead.  She closed her eyes at that moment in recognition of it.  I even got a little smile when I said goodbye. 

I am grateful for the little time I had to spend with Marian.  We would sit together and talk on the days I would come over.  She had such a kind gentle way about her.  She had the most beautiful blue sparkly eyes.  She loved children and quickly took to mine.  She would play Barbies with Madeleine without a second thought.  She was quick witted and funny.  She was everything I could ever dream of in a grandmother.  The world doesn't realize what it lost. 

Julio and I held hands tightly on the ride home.  Don is losing the love of his life.  We all have to be kind to one another, but especially to our families.  Cherish and enjoy the time you do have now. 

 

 

Hallelujah!

It has been two years since my mother's last battle with cancer.  Her bloodwork yesterday revealed she is still in the clear and doing great.  Her oncologist was left scratching his head.  He thought for sure it would return by now.  A few months ago, she was convinced she would die soon.  I hope this perks her spirits enough to realize you aren't always a statistic.