The Good, the Bad and the Neglected

Friday was my first day since last April that I've worked in the school district. It was so nice to be back working with kids. I've been stuck in the office the last few times I subbed. I was assigned to a fourth grade boy. When I looked at what he was working on I was surprised. Normally, I help a child concentrate on the task at hand and whatnot. This student was working on being respectful and not having a meltdown when he was doing his work. He didn't have ADHD or Autism or anything like that. As his story unfolded to me, it sounded like a case of bad parenting, or neglect. There was another boy who was far more disrespectful than the child I was in charge of. He rolled his eyes at me and had a whatever attitude. I told him it was very disrespectful to talk to me like that, he really didn't care. In his case, it was a problem of clueless parenting. What little time he does spend with his parents, they think everything he does is cute.

How do I know these children's back stories? Because the teacher knows all. The teacher noticed alcohol on the breath of the one parent. The teacher made note how the parents said they would attend parent teacher night, only to skip it and go out somewhere else. This left the child I was in charge of, to try not to shed tears when he didn't see a note from his parents on his desk the next day. The teacher knows how much time each child spends in childcare and the quality of care they receive. She told me about all her problem children. How embarrassed I would be, to be one of those parents that the teacher scoffs at internally when her student tells her he was up till all hours watching TV...and we're not talking about the Disney channel type of shows.

Rest assured your child's teacher has an opinion about you when it comes to your parenting. I didn't say a bad opinion, but a definite opinion. They talk in the teachers' lounge with the other teachers about your child. If your child causes problems it's not malicious, it's in a concerned way. But if you are one of those neglectful parents, those teachers air out their frustration over you for those in closed doors to hear. I'm saying these things just as an FYI. If I never worked in a school, I would want to know what goes on everyday.

Speaking of teacher lounges, I try to stay clear of teachers' lounges when I sub. Just for the fact, that I usually eat my lunch alone, or have the painstaking task of making small talk. One time I got some strange looks for talking on my cell phone (quietly) in one. Actually, I'll be working tomorrow at that same school. I'll have to brown bag it and head to the car to eat in peace.

I did have a really great time Friday. The student and I had created a bond when I sat with him and listened. I could tell he really liked showing me the one book he was into. That goes to show you can't substitute time invested in a child for anything. The teacher liked me so much she called her buddy to tell him about me. Who is her buddy? Just the superintendent of the school district...

Our Family

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Who doesn't love pictures of animals and kids? If you don't, there's something wrong...

I recently took some cute pictures and thought I'd share them with you. This first one is Don's cats lying on his bed. Their names are Corky and Smokey. This pose was too good to pass up.

Our good friends have two chihuahuas that had three puppies. My kids have grown so attached to them as they've taken care of them and watched them grow. Being with them made their summer all the more special. I had to get some pictures of them being together because two of them were being sold, one will stay within the family. The one had already been taken the day before.

These were just too cute to not share with you. You can rest assured you will receive your regular dose of Karen commentary in the next post.

First Day of School

Yesterday was Madeleine's first day of kindergarten, and Julian's first day of fifth grade. I wasn't sure how I would react. After all, it was Madeleine who would cry year after year seeing her brother get on the bus and not very thrilled to be coming back home with me. She was an independent explorer that having a mother around could only mean limits were set and fences put in place. As the days grew closer, I could see she was starting to grasp what it really meant to be away from home: venturing out without anyone to really lean on, and without someone who is carrying your snacks in her purse. We shared a heightened bond her last month before school. We regressed a little back to her toddler days of singing baby songs I made up and extra snuggles. Normally she would have been like, "Ok, enough is enough." But that was not the case. Thank God, because I knew her life away from me would begin the moment she stepped on the bus. The life experiences she would have would start to not have me included in them. How I've wished to be a fly on the wall of my children's school just to see what their day is like.

Like I mentioned, she was nervous but excited. I told her sometimes it feels like there is butterflies in your tummy. She said, "I think I have two butterflies in my tummy." Our bus driver, Tom, was there all those years seeing her cry when she couldn't get on the bus. Sometimes he would let her come on the bus for a minute because he felt so bad. So both kids kissed me goodbye and walked on the bus. I didn't start to cry until the bus drove away. I felt empty, naked. Another strong emotion surfaced at the same time: I was so grateful for the time we did have together. Thankful for leaving that dentist job so long ago, that took so much time from her when she was little. Thankful for having the ability to turn down jobs that would take too much time from me being a mother. I feel for those moms forced to work 40+ work weeks and be away from their young children. For moms working 40+ hour work weeks that don't have to, but choose to, you made the wrong decision. Childhood is gone in the blink of an eye. It is something that the parent should savor and enjoy.

Instead of my ramblings, I'm sure you want to know how her first day went. She liked it a lot. She was nervous that no one would tell her where to go or what to do. Now she's an old pro. From getting to know various people over the years because of Julian, Madeleine already had a buddy to go into kindergarten with named Jenna. Her teacher is just as sweet as they come so I'm very excited for her and for me when I start volenteering in her class.

Julian was calm about this year and was happy when he came home. He likes his teacher and has no complaints so far. I'm just waiting for all that homework to come home and it'll be a different story then. I'm just sad our summer is over...