Follow up on Southern women

There is one woman Britney will never speak for, and that 's Reese Witherspoon.  Born in Tennessee, Reese did comment in a recent magazine that she disapproved of Britney's baby on her lap while she was driving.  So maybe I can put my fears to rest on the generalization Britney had made earlier.  There is a statistic out there that 85% of children are not strapped in correctly.  Please read the manual that's in the box.  Of course, you have one up on her-you should be commended for putting your child in it in the first place.  Let's hope she's learned her lesson.  You know I'll be fuming when the next tabloid reads "Oops, I did it again!"

My son, the swimmer

Julian has just completed his first week of swimming lessons and I couldn't be more proud.  He looks forward to it every night and has shown how brave he can be to face his fears.  Why make a big deal of it? Doesn't every average eight year old know how to swim?  Well, as I've mentioned before Julian's on the mild side of the autistic spectrum catagorized as Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified(PDD-NOS).  This is as mild as you can get when it comes to autism.  He always has a fear of new experiences especially when it comes to water.  He suprised me by how he continued swimming even though he had water in his eyes--I have to wipe each drop away quickly when he's in the bath.  Last night he even laid on his back while the instructor held his neck and he kicked.  I could see how proud he was of himself.  There was a neighbor a year older than him a few months ago that doubted Julian's ability to kick a ball very high.  This child is in a soccor program and seems quite competitive.  I couldn't tell him about Julian's low muscle tone-which seems to be improving at a slow pace.  Why does there have to be such a fixation on competition?  Why can't kids just have a good time together without proving who is the best?  Thank goodness his lessons have not been at all competitive.  It is been great for him to experience in so many ways.  If we as a society have such fierce competition between ourselves, where does that leave the people who will never measure up?  That can be addressed on so many levels, but for now I am a proud mom.  He is doing his best and that's all I'll ever ask of him.

"The Napoleon of Shadows" Teaser

You can now get a sneak peak of my upcoming debut as Moira Skye in an early version of the teaser for the audio drama The Napoleon of Shadows from Infinite Imagination.  Click on the following link to see the trailer (the first half is the audio teaser; the second half is the visual opening credits).

The Napoleon of Shadows teaser (2.90MB)

 (You'll need either RealPlayer or the recommended Real Alternative codec to play these files). 

Let me know what you think!

No Chemo Today

My mother never learned to drive. She grew up in Philadelphia and took the train or the bus.  My father moves us out in the middle of nowhere, has three more kids and she refuses to learn.  Today she was going to receive her chemo, but her doctor decided it was not a good idea since last week she had shingles (think of it like a bad chicken pox) and the chemo could bring it back.  Well, I offered to take her there, since my dad commutes to Philadelphia for work everyday and has to go out of his way to take her.  After complaining to my sister that I was late, she warmed up to me.  The doctor gave her something instead of the chemo (retussin?) to keep the cancer in remission.  This required me dropping her off and three hours later picking her up.  She was so happy that she will not have to worry about side effects for two weeks.  She actually put her hand to my face and told me I was a good girl.  Yes, I'm almost thirty, but that warmed my heart. I know the past few posts about her have been negative, so I can leave this post with a warm and fuzzy feeling: we're having lunch next week.

Get Your Facts Straight on Autism

While at a dinner party one night, a friend had made a comment that a certain child she knew could not have autism because he was so smart.  Forgetting my child has a mild form of it, I couldn't help but be insulted.  My son is very smart and is often complimented on it.  She was not aware that autism is a spectrum disorder. There is a broad range of characteristics that make up this spectrum. One end children can appear retarded, the other end children may just seem different. No two children have the exact same symtoms.  My son was not diagnosed until kindergarten because he just appeared different. His symtoms were mild: poor eye contact with unfamiliar people, unability to concentrate on subjects that didn't interest him, mild sensory disfunction, and low muscle tone. It is now said that one in every 166 children will be born with some form of the disorder. If that number is true, it's a good chance someone you know has a child with symtoms. All I ask is for you to be discreet and inform yourself before unknowingly insulting a workmate, a neighbor, or a friend.

CHOP comes through again...

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia saved me from much mental anguish last week as it was discovered that my daughter had broken her arm. We are not talking about the kind that you get a nice cast put on and then home. No, the x-ray showed an inch of bone that had completely separated from her arm above her elbow. My local hospital (that has employed half its staff from Grey's Anatomy audition rejects) at least had enough intelligence to know that her procedure was way above their heads and had CHOP come to my rescue. Where the local hospital ER doc told me my daughter would lose use of her arm and need major surgery, the wonderful CHOP doctor told me this surgery was routine and non-invasive. I could finally begin breathing again after being up all night. Surgery is still surgery afterall. She needed anesthesia and a breathing tube down her throat. I had the priveledge of escorting her to the OR with gown and all. They started offering this when children are still conscious before the procedure begins. It was so hard to see the nurse put the gas mask over her face and see her struggle lessen. I can understand her anger when she realized it wasn't a mermaid mask as I had let on. Someone escorted me out to wait for her and hugged me as I sobbed. Yet... ta-da! the surgeon was done in 20 minutes and it was a success! We got settled in our room as we both tried to recover from a crazy 24 hours. At CHOP she was scared to move around with it but she has finally settled into a good routine with her cast (which is good because she will wear it for 2 months). You may be curious of my title selection especially the word "again." Let me explain, eight years ago to the month I was there with my other child with a much more serious diagnosis. He had supraventricular tacycardia when he was born. That means his heart was beating 250 bpm. It was brought down with digoxin(see poem) yet somehow when he was released developed sepsis (bacteria in his bloodstream) which of course brought his heart rate up again. CHOP had sophisticated monitors that could watch his heart closely as they put him on another med (inderal) since the dig wasn't working. Wow, by the time your done reading this you could write your own episode of ER! CHOP saved my son's life so I knew my daughter would be taken care of. I guess the banners of being the #1 children's hosptial in America helped put my mind at ease too. Strange as it sounds, to be there was like visiting an old friend, one you know you can count on.

 

Becoming Moira

Recording my lines for Moira was a lot of fun last night. I completed a couple of scenes and will finish by next Friday. I wanted the beginning scene to be very intimate since it's a journal entry. The other scenes I actually was able to put my vocal training to use. I was trying to whisper and it was coming off as raspy. When I whispered using my diaphram it was a perfect take. I always recommend voice lessons to anyone interested in creating a better voice for themselves.  Even if you don't think you have a "good voice" you would be suprised what lessons could do for you.  Well, I'm normally a quiet, shy person. I've always needed acting to let me have a voice. I love playing characters quite opposite from me. Moira is not quite opposite but is more confident and sassy. I hope my producer will be happy with the product. I can't help but feel self-conscious about my acting voice. Singing is easier for me because I find I can manipulate my voice to sound like Jewel to Barbara Striesand. Moira is my own normal talking voice so I feel like I'm exposing a part of myself I don't necessarily like. However, it did give me a great sense of accomplishment. I look forward to developing my character as the week goes on.

At least I tried to do the right thing...

My bi-weekly visit with my mom didn't go as well as I had hoped. There are other ways I would rather spend my time than arguing with her like I was 16 again. This time I didn't scream and slam my door. I did the adult thing and changed the subject.  Remember the last entry about the power of guilt?  Well my in-laws are about to move 2 minutes away from my parents in my old home town. I was there to check out their new place and thought "Gee, I should stop by and visit my mom like a good daughter since I am so close by and she's all depressed about her diagnosis and stuff." That's logical right? Don't ask my husband to respond to that.  She hasn't softened in her approach to communicate with me and still refers to her grandson as "your son." At least I didn't stay long and our conversation did improve. What do you say to someone who negates everything you say? Not much would be the proper response. At least I tried to do the right thing by showing up.

From CSR to professional Barbie

As of next week I will be unemployed. The company I work for is shutting down and I'm the first to go. There are many brightsides to this problem I will try to emphasize here: I will get to be a stay-at-home mom again. My other stay-at-home mom friends I'm sure have felt neglected since I left their ranks so I'll be happy to be in their good graces again.  Spending time with my daughter has been a balancing act since my dish washer broke so we will happily be playing princesses again. She misses me being her "Barbie doll." She would pick a dress out of my closet, then pick out the "slippers." Barbie 101: Don't ever call them shoes. Then she would find a matching tiara and necklace and we would go the ball. This was our game that I have not had time to play lately. But back to my job: I had my own office, I was able to get dressed up every day. I spoke to scientists from all over the country. This is considered glamorous to a girl in the sticks. You might ask "What's the big deal? Find another job!"  Well it's not that easy. I only worked 12 hours a week, traveled 15 minutes to work and they didn't care if I was late! So I will continue looking, however sceptically, in the want ads. I will exchange the power suit for sweats.  That is until I have my wardrobe consultant dress me in my gown and slippers...

Moira Skye

For you sci fi fans out there, I will start recording my lines as Moira this week. This is the biggest gig I have had so far, so I'm sure it will be a learning experience. Even though I married a very creative man, I never thought our creative professional lives would cross. (ok, so when we were 16 we did compose a pretty good poem together,but...) A sci-fi writer and an overly dramatic wanna be Christine Daae working on something? Yes, he is now my director. Having the knowledge of the audio drama workings and voice potrayals, I hired him. It's been very interesting having heated discussions on how lines should be read and how I shouldn't pretend this is a broadway production. For 8 years it's been over bills and the dishes so I'll take it. Here's my confession: I hated everything sci-fi before we got together. After 8 years of marriage I am a Star Trek (DS9), Star Wars and X-files fan. Julio told me about some British show he used to watch as a kid called Doctor Who. He's drooling over a $40 DVD in Suncoast and I'm reminding him we have to pick up diapers on the way home. I was immersed in my first child and had no time for him or I to get into something that was not easily accessible on local cable. But slowly and surely we were huge fans. Anything British I'm a fan of actually, so this fits. Here I am 6 years later staring as the companion in Infinite Imagination's fan produced audio drama. You never know where life is going to take you. Never did I think my husband's creative gain would bring me my own. It's a great outlet for the actress in me and  I don't even have to leave the house. Yes, so I never made it to Broadway. (I'm 5'4" so they would never have taken me anyway) I hope a busy mom who hasn't had acting lessons in 8 years can pull off a character like Moira. I'll keep you posted...

Cancer Sucks

I just thought I'd share a thought millions of people have already come to know. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 non-hogkins lymphoma 2 years ago. Her one doctor saved her life, the first one almost killed her by giving her more chemo than she needed. So we thought we were over the worst until her PET scan showed there was something that came back. She just received her third dose last week and will need 3 more. Blood work shows it is currently out of her system but it's standard procedure to receive 6 at a time. She has recurrent lymphoma and will continue on chemo until her body no longer responds to it. You might assume since I'm posting about my mom's problems that we are best of friends and the cancer will tear apart the friendship. I wish I could say we are, but family relationships are complicated. There is a lot of trust isssues on both sides. It doesn't help I believe she's severely depressed and unable to bond with other humans in a healthy way. But guilt has a funny way of working itself into establishing a relationship that was not really there to make the most of what time we have left. I have started inviting her out to brunch every 2 weeks and she is enjoying my visits. It hurts me to see her so down now that she realized this isn't going away.  If her parents hadn't messed up her childhood it wouldn't have taken her cancer for us to be close.