Unconventional Ways to Save Money

I have been an official SAHM for 3 months.  This does not denote the luxury that staying at home might be for certain moms.  It is up to me to stretch the paycheck as far as it will go.  If I were a lawyer, I might have extra money to hand out to babysitters.  As previously discussed in my area, I would not be able to get a job that would make it worth paying daycare, the cost of gas, etc.  So I would like to share some little known facts to stretch your dollar.  When I worked for the dentist, he stressed using a paste made of baking soda and hydrogen perxiode.  It clears up any gum disease you might have, plus the baking soda whitens your teeth.  For children, this does not apply because they need toothpaste with fluriode. 

As consumers, I think we've unintentionally become helpless, depending on food manufacturers to pre-cook everything for us and package everything in separate baggies.  This applies to popcorn.  When's the last time you made your own popcorn?  Isn't popcorn just something you buy prepackaged and stick in the microwave?  I didn't become interested in making my own until the FDA came out with a preliminary study that revealed popcorn bags are treated with a grease repellant coating that breaks down into a carcinogen. I have the link here.  I saw on the today show that you can simply put kernels in a brown paper lunch bag, fold it down a few times and stick it in the microwave.  For five bags of prepackaged popcorn it's $1.87.  For the same amount of kernels Wal-mart brand was $0.87.  You'll say, "Karen, that's not going to taste good!"  Au contraire, my daughter loves it with canola oil and salt.  You can buy butter flavoring and sleep well with the thoughts that you are helping the enviornment by staying away from all that packaging and feel good you might possibly be protecting your family from a carcinogen.  Did I mention it's healthier?

My friend and I are doing a Racheal Ray clothing swap party soon.  This was a segment last week where women get together and bring clothes they can't wear for their friends to try on and swap.  I thought we'd take it a step further and bring jewelry too.  Serve snacks and wine and what could be better?  Your family budget can't argue with that. 

As I discover more, I'll share more.  Feel free to share your tips!

Raising Children 101

I feel America needs a refresher course in the raising of their children.  Since common sense has gone out the window, I'm going to attempt to fish it out of the gutter and back into everyone's mind.  It's sad to think of the many abortions that happen everyday.  It's sad to think of the women that didn't have abortions, but still don't supply the basic necessities to their children.  Perhaps there is a fantasy that exists in one's mind about how you want to raise your child, then realize it would take a lot of money you don't have to make that a reality.  All I know is, there seems to be an anger that exists in parents that is taken out on their children.  So here are some simple reminders of all that children really need.

Patience.  They need you to be patient with them.  If you are disciplining them, don't be harsh.  If they are doing something wrong, look at the way you're teaching them, don't think they are stupid for not understanding.

Time.  In order to teach children, you need some uninterrupted time with them everyday.  If this seems hard for you, set a timer.

Distraction.  Children do not need fancy toys.  They have an imagination already built in. Old pots and pans, wooden spoons, cardboard boxes, safe items that you don't use. You can make playdough with food coloring, hot water, salt, and flour.  Don't stress that your children don't have the biggest and best toys.  They would pick free time with you anyday rather than a new toy. 

Nourishment.  This needs to be said because of stories of parents that punish their children by starving them.  Never withhold food from children as a punishment.  There is something called "time out" that actually works.  You don't have to be stressed over the marketing of children tv dinners, cereal, etc.  It's very inexpensive to make simple food yourself that will taste better anyway.  Also, breastfeeding does not cost you a cent, whereas formula is very pricey.  Think about it. 

Compassion.  Children need to be taught how to be fully functioning adults. Think of them like a blank canvass.  By being gentle with them, you are painting a beatiful portrait.  If you fill their mind with your loud-mouth yelling and cover their bodies with bruises from your short-tempered hand, you have painted a canvass that sticks out like a sore thumb of what a horrible human being you are. 

Love.  Soften your heart when your child looks at you adoringly.  Soften your heart when they make a mistake and look to you for help.  You are all they have in a heartless world.  Even child victims of abuse don't want to leave their parents when they are taken away to somewhere safer.  How much more will your child appreciate you for their entire life, just from you taking a few years away from your full-time pursuits in order to teach them how to be a human being.  When you have love, the rest falls into place.

 

 

You Can Take the Girl Off the Stage...

I had the rare opportunity to visit NYC for a day in the beginning of November.  I visited sights that I never dreamed I would see in my life.  This was the third time I went to NYC in a thirty year span even though I live only 2 hours away, but this time was a blast!  Being a SAHM(stay-at-home-mom), I crave adventure every once in awhile. Everytime I travel, I don't like to look like a tourist.  It's the actress in me, I guess.  I suffered with high-heeled boots when all the tourists wore sneakers.  We used Grey Hound to get there which I think will be the last time.  We went on a freezing day, but in the city we felt warm from the buildings being so close together.  First, we spent too much time in the Virgin Music store, saw ABC Studios (which does not offer a tour to my disappointment). Then, had lunch in Planet Hollywood.  I guess when you visit very touristy restaurants, managers bring you in like a herd of cattle and expect the servers to handle being sat with 4 parties at once.  Since this was a kid-free trip, we didn't mind the wait.  Why?  Because they have wonderful costumes on display that make you forget how hungry you are.  There were the costumes from the Sound of Music, 

(yes, these same costumes right here!), Grease, Star Wars, Titanic, and my hubby's favorite:  Spock's pointy ears, and the Enterprise model from the first three Star Trek movies.  We saw where the Today show cast comes out every morning.  We took the NBC Studios Tour in Rockafeller Plaza. 

 

This was my favorite.  The first 20 minutes were hokey.  We watched a video about the humble beginnings of NBC. Then the tour guides picked someone from our tour group to be an anchorman and weatherman.  We got to sit and watch them in a pretend studio.  Then it was off to see where Conan O'Brien hosts his show.  The studio was suprisingly small and very cold.  They told us a special lens makes the studio appear wider on TV (that's where the gain 10 pounds thing comes from) and they needed to keep it cold because of the hundreds of lights over our heads.  Then we got to see where SNL films from behind huge windows.  Unfortunately, no one was practicing since there would be no show that paticular Saturday.  It didn't even look like the set, because earlier that week there was a conference held there.  It looked only a little wider than a high school stage, with three different areas.  Before we caught the bus home, Julio and I stopped at a McDonald's.  I thought the McD's in France were different. (It sold beer with your value meal.) We felt like we were in a club. (OK, so we don't get out much.) There were 3 levels, and on the third level there was a huge projection of music videos on the wall.  The music was loud and the space was low lit.  On the way home, it was an adventure unto itself.  We were in a long line at the bus terminal.  Suddenly, an employee tells us there will not be enough room on the 9:30 bus bound for Philly.  She recommends we take the 9:15 that will stop in Newark and Mt. Laurel.  Sounded good enough, since the next bus after that wouldn't be until 11:00 p.m. We boarded on a full bus and could only sit near eachother.  We see people who were behind us in line leave on the 9:30 no problem.  That bus actually leaves on time.  It felt like an eternity before we could leave.  The bus driver is yelling at a young man while they both board the bus. The man talks back and the driver throws him off.  There was a family that couldn't speak good english and they must have boarded, then unboarded 4 times.  The driver stood outside then to finish a cigarette. So once he sat down, the whole bus erupted in cheers.  That was fun.  The rest of the ride home I slept next to a stranger.  As you might know, I love anything Broadway so I got some nifty souvenirs that were Broadway related.  Hopefully, next time we'll go to actually watch a show!

The Coupon Conspiracy

Sure, I would rather write a review of the victorian novel I just finished, but here I am writing about coupons. I have mentioned in entries past, I try to use coupons from the Sunday paper to save a tiny amount off my shopping bill.  Being a miserly stay-at-home mom(SAHM) as I am, I simply have to vent on what I call a conspiracy.  Have you noticed that the amount you save on each coupon has gone down while the amount you have to buy has gone up?  Take for example Kleenex Tissues.  You can never just buy one box, on the coupon you have to buy 3 boxes just to save $0.30.  For my family, it's just not worth it.  Tide detergent rarely has coupons for just one bottle, you have to buy two.  I have to spend $35.00 just to save a buck?  I have become very interested in marketing over the past year, and view it in a new light.  What I realize is, coupon fliers are just advertising.  I look at a coupon and say, "I don't have time to cut out a coupon that will only save me $0.25."  (I also don't have time to go to stores just for a few items that will triple my coupon's savings but make me pay double for everything else.)  However, I will remember that brand when making my purchase, because of said coupon. Unless of course, the generic brand has the same quality. Maybe it's just me, but I think I'm on to them.

The Misdiagnosis

The past month for me has been mind blowing.  As you might know, my son was "diagnosed" in kindergarten with PDD-NOS (a very mild form on the Autistic spectrum).  For years, we have tried to get him into Autism programs but they had a year waiting period.  I thought he had a gluten intolerance so looked into severely limiting his diet from milk and wheat products.  During this time, I would sporatically receive articles from friends in parenting mags about children that were misdiagnosed.  By the end of each article, I would be crying and jealous.  Great for those moms, but not for me.  I saw how out of sync my brother was with other children growing up, and he was never diagnosed with anything.  It was my greatest fear to bring a son into this world and give him "my geek genes."  To get to the point, his pediatrician recommended he be seen for his anxiety.  He was accepted into a program through CHOP and the University of Penn who wrote the book on a 12 step anxiety approach that is now being used as a standard.  What was mind blowing is that they are not convinced he ever had PDD-NOS.  They believe that it was his anxiety all along that made him act as if he had autistic tendencies.  The greatest of those anxieties, they believe, was separation from me.  The doctors have full confidence he will come out on top.  It's nice to think he doesn't have to have a label put on him anymore, but wondering what a quality of life he would have had if he had gotten this help years earlier.  It's nice to be on the other side of this now, to know what direction to go to move forward.  When all is said and done, my children will truly be my life's greatest accomplishment.  Do you know how many gray hairs I have after getting off the schuylkill expressway every time? 

Keep Repeating to Self: My children love our pets

When I woke up I discovered the dog peed on our bedroom floor, and the cat threw up on our living room chair.  Then an hour later the cat pooped on our couch, the dog ate the poop, and the cat threw up again.  And it's not even 9 a.m.

Why have a vivid imagination...when there's YouTube!

For the not-so-computer literate out there YouTube is a video hosting service that is the in thing to do.  It's been a forum for a whistle blower of a major company and it's been a site that you can watch a young girl's heavily downloaded web diaries as she discusses her initiation into a cult. (Not real!)  So you might be thinking, "I bet the majority of that site just has videos of reckless teenagers jumping off their parents' garage."  You're only half-right.  So in between cooking, cleaning and trying to shake a cold, I went on an in-depth search of the obscure geeky things that I imagine in my mind but never saw in real life.  The first thing would be anything Broadway in nature, since that world is left to the elite whether you are an actor or an audience member.  I have had an un-healthy obsession with Broadway since I was four.  It runs in the family to have the passion but lack the "it" factor.  So, since then I have imagined what it must be like to go through an audition and be in rehersal for a show.  YouTube put me in the audition room with a young Lea Salonga and saw Miss Saigon's creators' expressions change, knowing they found their star.  She has gone on to be the singing voice of Princess Jasmine and Mulan.  Someone took the time to upload the video for my viewing pleasure and I am eternally grateful.  My mind is still on a high from the nine part documentary.  Nothing I could watch on TV would be greater.  So maybe you're not a Broadway voyeur...think of a favorite childhood cartoon you thought no one remembered.  It might be there waiting to reawaken your inner child.

A New Feature!

I've probably mentioned how much of a sci-fi geek my husband can be.  Well, I'm geeky in other ways.  Take etymology for example, the history of words we use on a daily basis.  My eleventh grade teacher Mr. Smith had a passion for etymology and soon enough I did too.  Years later, I visited him and told him how much I enjoyed looking in old dictionaries to find where the word orginated from and its meaning.  He said, "Karen, you and I are the only ones."  So for those of you that want a monthly taste of English class that you were too young to appreciate then, I bring you Karen's Etymological Corner in the sidebar of my blog.  Let me know what you think of it!  And if Mr. Smith is the only one that reads it that's OK by me. :)

Would you let your young child play in the street?

This question would be a no-brainer to most women readers but I am astounded at the amount of children under the age of six I have seen playing by themselves with no supervision.  If I wrote this blog thirty years ago (let's stretch our imagination) maybe that would be no big deal.  Do you realize the times we are living in?  I warned a new neighbor about four sexual predators that live in our town that was posted on a police website.  Boy was I wasting my time.  Her husband is a cop and she still lets her four and six year old have run of the neighborhood.  As a society, are we in denial about how many sickos there are out there?  If you are one of those parents, let me tell you a scary story.  My cousin knew a woman who was a very lax parent.  She would let her adorable daughter outside by herself anytime she wanted.  She had her own yard but lived close to other houses.  Well, a man across the street just happened to be a pedophile.  He would watch her playing and would have fantasies about her.  The mother got to know of this when the police confiscated his belongings one day and found numerous pictures of her on his computer.  He had taken them while she was playing.  Thank goodness nothing happened.  Perhaps if the mom played outside with her daughter sometimes, she would have seen a creepy neighbor taking pictures.  Do you really know your neighbors?  Can you afford in this day and age to be a lax parent?  The only one who pays for your neglect is your child.  Will you be able to live with that guilt for the rest of your life?

So I got ahead of myself...

I quit my job last week much to the suprise of everyone.  There are numerous reasons for doing this, but the main ones are I missed my kids and the dentist could be a jerk.  I told you how sceptical I was about finding a new job and I proved myself right.  Everything looked good on paper, but when you have someone demeaning you 50% of the time your mental facilities don't know which way is up.  It's hard to walk away from something I enjoyed doing but was not going to work in the long run.  Besides, I'm princess Barbie.  It is good to note my husband just got hired on where he was consulting which makes staying at home more doable.  I was given the book Misery Moms: How to Live on One Income so now I'll have to get around to reading it.  Now you know why I haven't blogged at all.  The job stressed me out.  I was not even able to get my lines for the next audio drama, Iron Legion.  I don't know how women do it who have little ones and work more than 20 hours a week outside the home.  I guess having a six figure income would help.  What I value above all is time.  When will my daughter be 3 again?  When will she want me to play dress up and play store like she does now?  When I was little, I remember never having to conform to a schedule.  (So maybe that's why I'm always late is besides the point)  I had a great time during my preschool years of making tents out of foldable chairs and sheets.  My mom would sew dresses for my Barbies.  It was a simple time.  I can't help but want Madeleine to have the same.  So what if we don't buy all her clothes from Gymboree.  So what if I don't have money to get our dream house sooner.  People in this day and age are more consumed with wanting things they don't need than spending unstructured time with their kids.  I understand two income families are a necessity but I feel sorry for the parents that let the precious years of their children go by under someone else's supervision.

The Napoleon of Shadows

The Napoleon of Shadows, my first audio drama playing the part of Moira, was released in August.  But I never had a chance to blog about it.  It had an excellent writer (wink, wink) and a wonderful cast.  It was a lot of fun to act in.  Moira has a lot of potential and can be developed well.  Julio did a great job of establishing her as a new companion.  I can be a sarcastic person so he had fun writing that into her personality.  I hope the listeners catch her little jokes and not think that she's annoying.  You can download the episodes here:

Part One

Part Two

Parts Three, Four, and Five

Enjoy!

Because Life is Funny that Way...

I wanted to share a funny story that happened a month ago that all you victims of bullies will appreciate:  When I was in first grade I had a very long bus ride-maybe an hour to school.  There was a second grader named Sarah that was always very mean to me.  Then, in high school we met up again in math class.  Her group were the attitude girls who got enjoyment out of making fun of anyone different.  In high school different was my middle name (in a creative sense) so you can imagine how that went.  Then I worked for a medical supply company for a year in between high school and college where we met up again.  The attitude was toned down and we became friendly.  So here I am at Wal-Mart in my Sunday's best and I run into her.  She has two kids, I have two kids.  She's in a townhouse, I'm in a townhouse.  She's gained a lot of weight, I have not.  I am not at all a vindictive person but it does make my blood boil knowing what bullies can get away with.  So, I had a smile on my face as I walked out of the store knowing she was going to tell her attitude girl posse that she saw me and I looked at the top of my game.

Neglected, but not forgotten...

No, I'm not referring to my hair style in my title, just my blog.  I appreciate how certain people check it every once in awhile to make sure I'm still alive.  I am alive and running crazy.  I was told I would be "spoon fed"  the information a dental assistant needs to know and I'm already assisting with surgery.  The dentist keeps me on such pins and needles, I don't know which way is up.  It is a lot of fun and very interesting work.  I feared my next job after CSR would be somewhere in corporate America hiding in a cube.  Oh, there's nothing wrong with women in corporate America if you like a nose in the air fashion show everyday.  Interestingly enough, dental assisting is a lot like waitressing.  Who'd-a-thunk it? Perhaps it wouldn't be if the other 2 girls weren't doing 5 jobs at once and me trying to make sense of it all.  And then we have Madeleine.  She's having a good enough time with her grandpa but once I get home it's professional Barbie till bedtime.  She will barely let me answer the phone, let alone look on a computer screen.  And now you know why I haven't had time to post--but keep checking because my brain is overflowing with anecdotes and gripes that I can't keep bottled up.

Review of Heart in Concert at Musikfest

Every August in Bethlehem, Pa  they shut down the main part of the city for 2 weeks and fill it with music.  Hence the name Musikfest.  The first time I was there was because of a guy I nicknamed Poncho Man.  Poncho Man was very different than any customer I had come through my line at the supermarket.  I would always compliment him on his ponchos he'd wear because no one else in the stuck up town I lived wore anything interesting like that.  He was a man of the world and would tell me of trips he had been on.  He probably got a kick out me being so wided eyed at his stories that he invited me to Musikfest.  It was love at first sight.  In one tent we danced to reggae music in a mile long congo line.  On another stage, I listened to a celtic band that I still love 11 years later.  And the only big name playing that week was James Taylor's brother.  Every August I would think about Musikfest but never went.  Poncho Man and I lost touch and was forgotten.  I heard last year Clay Aiken was there so I made it my goal to go this year.  A week before I thought, "Hmm, I better see who is at Musikfest this year."  My jaw dropped when I saw my favorite band was headlining.  With a week to go, and our anniversary coming up, my loving husband scored major brownie points by buying us tickets.  We didn't get the greatest seats, but just to be there was awesome.  You know who Heart is right?  "These Dreams," "Alone," "What About Love?"  Ok, so I those are not my favorites, but I'm trying to establish a connection here.  Heart premiered in 1975 with Dreamboat Annie-one of the greatest albums ever made.  Ann Wilson is the rocker girl with the amazing voice and her sister Nancy is the genius musician. No, I'm not going into all the other musicians they've had through the years, but you can post about it if you have the time.  So, now going into their fifties, they still got it.  Ann can still belt her voice like old times and Nancy is jumping and rocking out on her guitar.  They were amazing.  They played Magic Man, Straight On, Love Alive, Bebe Le Strange, Even it Up, Tom Petty's "You Wreck Me," a Who song (Rain on Me?), 2 Led Zepplin covers, Alone, These Dreams, Crazy on You, Barracuda, Lost Angel (from new album).  This was a first for me to go to a concert that I could scream at the end of a song because I had loved it for so many years.  My husband is not so much a classic rock fan, and he was impressed.  It was strange for people to be singing right along and not miss a beat--just like me.  Oh yeah, and Poncho Man was there... sitting just a few rows up.

Dude, I'm on iTunes

One of the first audio dramas that I worked on, Avatar (as part of the Dome series from Lucky Shot Productions) is now available on iTunes!  It is under the Spoken Word category, and is listed under the artist The Dome.  Rock on!

I found a job!

Yes, I was sceptical about my job search.  I had to broaden my expectations in order to find one.  My biggest gripe about my 20s is that I never learned a skill.  I don't have time/money for college and I don't know what I would've taken if I did go.  English literature and Medieval history can only take one so far.  I was waiting for my career to find me.  I just can't believe it did.  Someone was crazy enough to hire and train me as a dental assistant.  Now this will take some time, but it's paid training! And I get a raise once I'm x-ray certified.  What I had to broaden were my time limits.  I'm going from working 12 hours near by to 20 in a town that's 30 minutes away.  I've never been away from my daughter that long.  She will have her grandpa to watch her, but it breaks my heart to see her guarding the door so I won't leave.  Well why not save your pennies and stay home as others have told me.  We tried and it didn't work.  We live modestly already: I clip my coupons, my children wear hand me downs, we live in a townhouse, I don't have a maid (alas!) and we really can't cut it.  So within these circumstances, I am excited about learning something that will make me look desirable to employers.  In my own childish mind, what am I the most excited about all this?  It just so happens that the dentist's daughter-in-law is the assistant to Elmo. Yes, the Elmo on Sesame Street.  She is good friends with the man behind Elmo and he comes to the dental office sometimes to sign autographs.  How cool is that?  Wouldn't you say that's an in to have my children appear on Sesame Street?  OK I'm thinking too far ahead--but you have to have goals, right?

What a Difference Three Weeks Make

Madeleine's broken arm a week later:

 

 

Madeleine's arm after three weeks:

 

Dr. Flynn, Madeleine's Doctor



Madeleine went to CHOP's King of Prussia office Monday where her cast and pins were removed.  From the last X-ray three weeks ago to Monday's X-ray, we were shown how her arm grew a new bone and everything was just about healed.  Thank goodness Daddy came to hold her down while they split the cast-it would have taken 3 of me. I have to personally thank Dr. Flynn-chief of orthopaedic surgery-at CHOP for taking care of my baby girl.  I can't promise I won't get some gray hairs from the whole experience but we've finally come full circle.  

What <em>can't</em> you find off the coast of New Jersey?

We had a nice family outing to Wildwood, NJ yesterday.  The last time I was there I was 16.  At that time in history, I didn't care about water quality, burning hot sand and biting sand flies.  Why?  Because I didn't have little ones whining for 3/4 of a mile that the sand was burning their feet or flies were attacking them.  I wish I could say that was all there was to complain about.  There is a treasure of sorts that you can find along the beach and I wish I could say it was seashells.  One woman was holding up a piece of glass she had found in the water.  I saw (toilet)paper and candy wrappers.  Last year in Ocean City, NJ I found a plastic glove and plastic wrap.  Yum.  In Wildwood, the water seemed very murky which worried me.  The EPA has shut down 20,000 beaches in the U.S. due to contamination since last year.   All in all, the kids had a great time. There was a breeze and the water felt great considering it was almost 100 degrees.  When I'm there I never want to go home.  I wish I could wake up and spend all day there and be a total beach bum if there wasn't something called responsibility that beckons me.  I look forward to a time when mankind can enjoy the beach without having to worry about pollution.  They will all be pristine just as God intentioned.

Follow up on Southern women

There is one woman Britney will never speak for, and that 's Reese Witherspoon.  Born in Tennessee, Reese did comment in a recent magazine that she disapproved of Britney's baby on her lap while she was driving.  So maybe I can put my fears to rest on the generalization Britney had made earlier.  There is a statistic out there that 85% of children are not strapped in correctly.  Please read the manual that's in the box.  Of course, you have one up on her-you should be commended for putting your child in it in the first place.  Let's hope she's learned her lesson.  You know I'll be fuming when the next tabloid reads "Oops, I did it again!"

My son, the swimmer

Julian has just completed his first week of swimming lessons and I couldn't be more proud.  He looks forward to it every night and has shown how brave he can be to face his fears.  Why make a big deal of it? Doesn't every average eight year old know how to swim?  Well, as I've mentioned before Julian's on the mild side of the autistic spectrum catagorized as Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified(PDD-NOS).  This is as mild as you can get when it comes to autism.  He always has a fear of new experiences especially when it comes to water.  He suprised me by how he continued swimming even though he had water in his eyes--I have to wipe each drop away quickly when he's in the bath.  Last night he even laid on his back while the instructor held his neck and he kicked.  I could see how proud he was of himself.  There was a neighbor a year older than him a few months ago that doubted Julian's ability to kick a ball very high.  This child is in a soccor program and seems quite competitive.  I couldn't tell him about Julian's low muscle tone-which seems to be improving at a slow pace.  Why does there have to be such a fixation on competition?  Why can't kids just have a good time together without proving who is the best?  Thank goodness his lessons have not been at all competitive.  It is been great for him to experience in so many ways.  If we as a society have such fierce competition between ourselves, where does that leave the people who will never measure up?  That can be addressed on so many levels, but for now I am a proud mom.  He is doing his best and that's all I'll ever ask of him.

"The Napoleon of Shadows" Teaser

You can now get a sneak peak of my upcoming debut as Moira Skye in an early version of the teaser for the audio drama The Napoleon of Shadows from Infinite Imagination.  Click on the following link to see the trailer (the first half is the audio teaser; the second half is the visual opening credits).

The Napoleon of Shadows teaser (2.90MB)

 (You'll need either RealPlayer or the recommended Real Alternative codec to play these files). 

Let me know what you think!

No Chemo Today

My mother never learned to drive. She grew up in Philadelphia and took the train or the bus.  My father moves us out in the middle of nowhere, has three more kids and she refuses to learn.  Today she was going to receive her chemo, but her doctor decided it was not a good idea since last week she had shingles (think of it like a bad chicken pox) and the chemo could bring it back.  Well, I offered to take her there, since my dad commutes to Philadelphia for work everyday and has to go out of his way to take her.  After complaining to my sister that I was late, she warmed up to me.  The doctor gave her something instead of the chemo (retussin?) to keep the cancer in remission.  This required me dropping her off and three hours later picking her up.  She was so happy that she will not have to worry about side effects for two weeks.  She actually put her hand to my face and told me I was a good girl.  Yes, I'm almost thirty, but that warmed my heart. I know the past few posts about her have been negative, so I can leave this post with a warm and fuzzy feeling: we're having lunch next week.

Get Your Facts Straight on Autism

While at a dinner party one night, a friend had made a comment that a certain child she knew could not have autism because he was so smart.  Forgetting my child has a mild form of it, I couldn't help but be insulted.  My son is very smart and is often complimented on it.  She was not aware that autism is a spectrum disorder. There is a broad range of characteristics that make up this spectrum. One end children can appear retarded, the other end children may just seem different. No two children have the exact same symtoms.  My son was not diagnosed until kindergarten because he just appeared different. His symtoms were mild: poor eye contact with unfamiliar people, unability to concentrate on subjects that didn't interest him, mild sensory disfunction, and low muscle tone. It is now said that one in every 166 children will be born with some form of the disorder. If that number is true, it's a good chance someone you know has a child with symtoms. All I ask is for you to be discreet and inform yourself before unknowingly insulting a workmate, a neighbor, or a friend.

CHOP comes through again...

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia saved me from much mental anguish last week as it was discovered that my daughter had broken her arm. We are not talking about the kind that you get a nice cast put on and then home. No, the x-ray showed an inch of bone that had completely separated from her arm above her elbow. My local hospital (that has employed half its staff from Grey's Anatomy audition rejects) at least had enough intelligence to know that her procedure was way above their heads and had CHOP come to my rescue. Where the local hospital ER doc told me my daughter would lose use of her arm and need major surgery, the wonderful CHOP doctor told me this surgery was routine and non-invasive. I could finally begin breathing again after being up all night. Surgery is still surgery afterall. She needed anesthesia and a breathing tube down her throat. I had the priveledge of escorting her to the OR with gown and all. They started offering this when children are still conscious before the procedure begins. It was so hard to see the nurse put the gas mask over her face and see her struggle lessen. I can understand her anger when she realized it wasn't a mermaid mask as I had let on. Someone escorted me out to wait for her and hugged me as I sobbed. Yet... ta-da! the surgeon was done in 20 minutes and it was a success! We got settled in our room as we both tried to recover from a crazy 24 hours. At CHOP she was scared to move around with it but she has finally settled into a good routine with her cast (which is good because she will wear it for 2 months). You may be curious of my title selection especially the word "again." Let me explain, eight years ago to the month I was there with my other child with a much more serious diagnosis. He had supraventricular tacycardia when he was born. That means his heart was beating 250 bpm. It was brought down with digoxin(see poem) yet somehow when he was released developed sepsis (bacteria in his bloodstream) which of course brought his heart rate up again. CHOP had sophisticated monitors that could watch his heart closely as they put him on another med (inderal) since the dig wasn't working. Wow, by the time your done reading this you could write your own episode of ER! CHOP saved my son's life so I knew my daughter would be taken care of. I guess the banners of being the #1 children's hosptial in America helped put my mind at ease too. Strange as it sounds, to be there was like visiting an old friend, one you know you can count on.

 

Becoming Moira

Recording my lines for Moira was a lot of fun last night. I completed a couple of scenes and will finish by next Friday. I wanted the beginning scene to be very intimate since it's a journal entry. The other scenes I actually was able to put my vocal training to use. I was trying to whisper and it was coming off as raspy. When I whispered using my diaphram it was a perfect take. I always recommend voice lessons to anyone interested in creating a better voice for themselves.  Even if you don't think you have a "good voice" you would be suprised what lessons could do for you.  Well, I'm normally a quiet, shy person. I've always needed acting to let me have a voice. I love playing characters quite opposite from me. Moira is not quite opposite but is more confident and sassy. I hope my producer will be happy with the product. I can't help but feel self-conscious about my acting voice. Singing is easier for me because I find I can manipulate my voice to sound like Jewel to Barbara Striesand. Moira is my own normal talking voice so I feel like I'm exposing a part of myself I don't necessarily like. However, it did give me a great sense of accomplishment. I look forward to developing my character as the week goes on.

At least I tried to do the right thing...

My bi-weekly visit with my mom didn't go as well as I had hoped. There are other ways I would rather spend my time than arguing with her like I was 16 again. This time I didn't scream and slam my door. I did the adult thing and changed the subject.  Remember the last entry about the power of guilt?  Well my in-laws are about to move 2 minutes away from my parents in my old home town. I was there to check out their new place and thought "Gee, I should stop by and visit my mom like a good daughter since I am so close by and she's all depressed about her diagnosis and stuff." That's logical right? Don't ask my husband to respond to that.  She hasn't softened in her approach to communicate with me and still refers to her grandson as "your son." At least I didn't stay long and our conversation did improve. What do you say to someone who negates everything you say? Not much would be the proper response. At least I tried to do the right thing by showing up.

From CSR to professional Barbie

As of next week I will be unemployed. The company I work for is shutting down and I'm the first to go. There are many brightsides to this problem I will try to emphasize here: I will get to be a stay-at-home mom again. My other stay-at-home mom friends I'm sure have felt neglected since I left their ranks so I'll be happy to be in their good graces again.  Spending time with my daughter has been a balancing act since my dish washer broke so we will happily be playing princesses again. She misses me being her "Barbie doll." She would pick a dress out of my closet, then pick out the "slippers." Barbie 101: Don't ever call them shoes. Then she would find a matching tiara and necklace and we would go the ball. This was our game that I have not had time to play lately. But back to my job: I had my own office, I was able to get dressed up every day. I spoke to scientists from all over the country. This is considered glamorous to a girl in the sticks. You might ask "What's the big deal? Find another job!"  Well it's not that easy. I only worked 12 hours a week, traveled 15 minutes to work and they didn't care if I was late! So I will continue looking, however sceptically, in the want ads. I will exchange the power suit for sweats.  That is until I have my wardrobe consultant dress me in my gown and slippers...

Moira Skye

For you sci fi fans out there, I will start recording my lines as Moira this week. This is the biggest gig I have had so far, so I'm sure it will be a learning experience. Even though I married a very creative man, I never thought our creative professional lives would cross. (ok, so when we were 16 we did compose a pretty good poem together,but...) A sci-fi writer and an overly dramatic wanna be Christine Daae working on something? Yes, he is now my director. Having the knowledge of the audio drama workings and voice potrayals, I hired him. It's been very interesting having heated discussions on how lines should be read and how I shouldn't pretend this is a broadway production. For 8 years it's been over bills and the dishes so I'll take it. Here's my confession: I hated everything sci-fi before we got together. After 8 years of marriage I am a Star Trek (DS9), Star Wars and X-files fan. Julio told me about some British show he used to watch as a kid called Doctor Who. He's drooling over a $40 DVD in Suncoast and I'm reminding him we have to pick up diapers on the way home. I was immersed in my first child and had no time for him or I to get into something that was not easily accessible on local cable. But slowly and surely we were huge fans. Anything British I'm a fan of actually, so this fits. Here I am 6 years later staring as the companion in Infinite Imagination's fan produced audio drama. You never know where life is going to take you. Never did I think my husband's creative gain would bring me my own. It's a great outlet for the actress in me and  I don't even have to leave the house. Yes, so I never made it to Broadway. (I'm 5'4" so they would never have taken me anyway) I hope a busy mom who hasn't had acting lessons in 8 years can pull off a character like Moira. I'll keep you posted...

Cancer Sucks

I just thought I'd share a thought millions of people have already come to know. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 non-hogkins lymphoma 2 years ago. Her one doctor saved her life, the first one almost killed her by giving her more chemo than she needed. So we thought we were over the worst until her PET scan showed there was something that came back. She just received her third dose last week and will need 3 more. Blood work shows it is currently out of her system but it's standard procedure to receive 6 at a time. She has recurrent lymphoma and will continue on chemo until her body no longer responds to it. You might assume since I'm posting about my mom's problems that we are best of friends and the cancer will tear apart the friendship. I wish I could say we are, but family relationships are complicated. There is a lot of trust isssues on both sides. It doesn't help I believe she's severely depressed and unable to bond with other humans in a healthy way. But guilt has a funny way of working itself into establishing a relationship that was not really there to make the most of what time we have left. I have started inviting her out to brunch every 2 weeks and she is enjoying my visits. It hurts me to see her so down now that she realized this isn't going away.  If her parents hadn't messed up her childhood it wouldn't have taken her cancer for us to be close.

Britney-a southern spokeswoman?

Can Britney be speaking for every southern family when she defends sitting her baby on her lap as "Hey we're country, my dad did that to me." Are not southern communities offended by that? Are they above the law that actually protects their children from..oh I don't know..head trama? As a person who lives north of the Mason-Dixon line am I to understand that most or half of southern people think its ok to drive with your baby on your lap?  OK so I come from a family that had a car the size of an ocean liner that was not concerned with tossing 4 kids in the back seat with no working seat belts. This was also 1987. A lot less road rage, a lot less cars and a lot less crazy distracted drivers in general. I can't help but become enraged when I see people putting their children in harms way. This shows me no matter how much money you have, you can't buy common sense.

Prozac works wonders...

This is the first month I didn't blow up at my husband for no reason because of the wonders of Prozac. Paxil just didn't have the same effect. What will Tom Cruise say? I take my vitamins, I exercise (if running after your daughter in the linens department counts) nothing would take my anxiety away. My brain can not let go of my past and so the prozac has taken the edge off and let me function as I need to. Hey, I even can organize myself to start a blog--a far off dream 6 months before. As I mentioned I am a creative person like it or not so now you can expect to see the best of my poetry from the last 10 years that I have always wanted to share.