Because Kim was wondering...

Here is Don singing with the chorus. He is the one with the walker. The video turned out better than I thought. Remember this was unrehearsed and the song was agreed on a minute before they began to sing. He really gets into toward the end. Pretty good considering after the entire thing he felt like he couldn't stand up another minute. Enjoy!

My head is still spinning...

For those of you who assumed I abandoned my blog to raise llamas in the Andes Mountains, you 1. don't know how difficult raising llamas can be and 2. you don't read my husband's blog which would have made you question why he was picking up his mail order bride at the airport.

Seriously, I had to get these past two weeks behind me to think clearly enough to make sentences that you would enjoy to read. Between working a lot for Don, writing two major papers for my last two weeks of class, starting my new job with Drama Kids, and trying to get better from a horrible sinus infection, I've been a little overwhelmed.

Now that is behind me. On Monday, Don went to his assisted living home. There is a good chance he won't like it so I may work occasionally for him if he does come back home, but I can't give up every weekend like I've been doing. I started a new class which means it will be nine weeks before I have to kill myself over another 1,700 word paper. I have these weird periods through the day where my head feel foggy and a little dizzy and nauseous but I'm functional. I work for Drama Kids every Monday and Friday and I love it. I think the director thought I'd be able to just take the class over, but there is a strict curriculum to follow of which I know nothing about. He will have me start to take over in the next few weeks after observing and training.

The day I started feeling better was the day I took Don to a luncheon being given for his barbershop quartet group. He has sang with them for the past 30 years and each year they host a get together at the William Penn Inn in Blue Bell, Pa. In this area, that's like the creme de la creme. I told Don my family had been there once when I was little. They saw the prices and quickly walked out. It was a dress up luncheon, if you can tell from the picture. Women were supposed to wear 1950s hat and gloves, men wore crazy ties. This was the only crazy one we could find for Don. So we enter the banquet room and I'm the youngest person there by 30 years. I got many compliments on my hat (which was a donation) and the hostess told me in a snide voice, "There are three women here who aren't wearing hats..." So I'm glad I enjoy dressing up and made a good impression at the same time.

We had such a good lunch and a fun time. I think he was trying to pass me off as his date which the older women at our table didn't really appreciate. Afterall, this is the first year Marian didn't attend. Most of the men (except Don) were put into groups to sing a song. A lot of the men hadn't sung together before because of always being with their own group. They had to all agree on a song to sing. Half the men knew one song, the other half didn't know that one. It was cute to see them remember songs like recalling old friends. Then their voices just fell into place. It got a laugh during the one group's performance, they forgot the words. I have a new appreciation for barbershop singing. It turns a 90 year old man into an ageless crooner. Don finally got to sing at the end when the entire group of men sang for the ladies. I wanted to give you a sample, if like me, you've never heard a quartet perform. I thought it was beautiful. Give them a few seconds to fully harmonize, since they didn't practice beforehand. It's a wonderful memory to have of Don and the precious time I spent with him. I will definitely be visiting him wherever he decides to go, but it won't be the same.

The Good, the Bad and the Neglected

Friday was my first day since last April that I've worked in the school district. It was so nice to be back working with kids. I've been stuck in the office the last few times I subbed. I was assigned to a fourth grade boy. When I looked at what he was working on I was surprised. Normally, I help a child concentrate on the task at hand and whatnot. This student was working on being respectful and not having a meltdown when he was doing his work. He didn't have ADHD or Autism or anything like that. As his story unfolded to me, it sounded like a case of bad parenting, or neglect. There was another boy who was far more disrespectful than the child I was in charge of. He rolled his eyes at me and had a whatever attitude. I told him it was very disrespectful to talk to me like that, he really didn't care. In his case, it was a problem of clueless parenting. What little time he does spend with his parents, they think everything he does is cute.

How do I know these children's back stories? Because the teacher knows all. The teacher noticed alcohol on the breath of the one parent. The teacher made note how the parents said they would attend parent teacher night, only to skip it and go out somewhere else. This left the child I was in charge of, to try not to shed tears when he didn't see a note from his parents on his desk the next day. The teacher knows how much time each child spends in childcare and the quality of care they receive. She told me about all her problem children. How embarrassed I would be, to be one of those parents that the teacher scoffs at internally when her student tells her he was up till all hours watching TV...and we're not talking about the Disney channel type of shows.

Rest assured your child's teacher has an opinion about you when it comes to your parenting. I didn't say a bad opinion, but a definite opinion. They talk in the teachers' lounge with the other teachers about your child. If your child causes problems it's not malicious, it's in a concerned way. But if you are one of those neglectful parents, those teachers air out their frustration over you for those in closed doors to hear. I'm saying these things just as an FYI. If I never worked in a school, I would want to know what goes on everyday.

Speaking of teacher lounges, I try to stay clear of teachers' lounges when I sub. Just for the fact, that I usually eat my lunch alone, or have the painstaking task of making small talk. One time I got some strange looks for talking on my cell phone (quietly) in one. Actually, I'll be working tomorrow at that same school. I'll have to brown bag it and head to the car to eat in peace.

I did have a really great time Friday. The student and I had created a bond when I sat with him and listened. I could tell he really liked showing me the one book he was into. That goes to show you can't substitute time invested in a child for anything. The teacher liked me so much she called her buddy to tell him about me. Who is her buddy? Just the superintendent of the school district...

Our Family

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

Who doesn't love pictures of animals and kids? If you don't, there's something wrong...

I recently took some cute pictures and thought I'd share them with you. This first one is Don's cats lying on his bed. Their names are Corky and Smokey. This pose was too good to pass up.

Our good friends have two chihuahuas that had three puppies. My kids have grown so attached to them as they've taken care of them and watched them grow. Being with them made their summer all the more special. I had to get some pictures of them being together because two of them were being sold, one will stay within the family. The one had already been taken the day before.

These were just too cute to not share with you. You can rest assured you will receive your regular dose of Karen commentary in the next post.

First Day of School

Yesterday was Madeleine's first day of kindergarten, and Julian's first day of fifth grade. I wasn't sure how I would react. After all, it was Madeleine who would cry year after year seeing her brother get on the bus and not very thrilled to be coming back home with me. She was an independent explorer that having a mother around could only mean limits were set and fences put in place. As the days grew closer, I could see she was starting to grasp what it really meant to be away from home: venturing out without anyone to really lean on, and without someone who is carrying your snacks in her purse. We shared a heightened bond her last month before school. We regressed a little back to her toddler days of singing baby songs I made up and extra snuggles. Normally she would have been like, "Ok, enough is enough." But that was not the case. Thank God, because I knew her life away from me would begin the moment she stepped on the bus. The life experiences she would have would start to not have me included in them. How I've wished to be a fly on the wall of my children's school just to see what their day is like.

Like I mentioned, she was nervous but excited. I told her sometimes it feels like there is butterflies in your tummy. She said, "I think I have two butterflies in my tummy." Our bus driver, Tom, was there all those years seeing her cry when she couldn't get on the bus. Sometimes he would let her come on the bus for a minute because he felt so bad. So both kids kissed me goodbye and walked on the bus. I didn't start to cry until the bus drove away. I felt empty, naked. Another strong emotion surfaced at the same time: I was so grateful for the time we did have together. Thankful for leaving that dentist job so long ago, that took so much time from her when she was little. Thankful for having the ability to turn down jobs that would take too much time from me being a mother. I feel for those moms forced to work 40+ work weeks and be away from their young children. For moms working 40+ hour work weeks that don't have to, but choose to, you made the wrong decision. Childhood is gone in the blink of an eye. It is something that the parent should savor and enjoy.

Instead of my ramblings, I'm sure you want to know how her first day went. She liked it a lot. She was nervous that no one would tell her where to go or what to do. Now she's an old pro. From getting to know various people over the years because of Julian, Madeleine already had a buddy to go into kindergarten with named Jenna. Her teacher is just as sweet as they come so I'm very excited for her and for me when I start volenteering in her class.

Julian was calm about this year and was happy when he came home. He likes his teacher and has no complaints so far. I'm just waiting for all that homework to come home and it'll be a different story then. I'm just sad our summer is over...

Last Week Before School

I set my hopes too high for this last week before they have to go back. I was just hoping to cram in a week of fun, but a little was better than nothing. Monday was supposed to be Dorney Park, our local toned down Six Flags. Julio got sick. Julio was up for a local place instead called Jungle Wonder that now offers kid bowling, black light mini golf, and something called Ballidium which is a room where you shoot foam balls at your opponents (Julio and Julian). No one else was there and the owners were more than generous with our family. Thursday was supposed to be Ocean City, NJ. Madeleine caught a cold Tuesday and still wasn't better. Sometimes things work out, because later that day the news said medical waste washed on shore there. They had to close part of the beach. Hmm, not good. For those who have been with me since I started this blog over three years ago, you will recall my August 06 entry entitled: What can't you find off the coast of NJ? I guess not much has changed. I don't want to offend any NJ relatives, it's just a shame because another stretch of beach was closed nearby a few days ago as well. Part of me just wanted to put my feet in the water one last time this year, but I'm caught up on all my shots, thanks.

So, I bought Julian a Jimmie Johnson backpack at his favorite NASCAR store, and Madeleine chose a princess backpack at Target. Then, I get a call from my boss saying that her dad wants to go into a retirement home instead of having private care. That puts me out of a job within the month. That will free up my weekends at least. I start teaching with Drama Kids in a month working Mondays so that will fill a little of the void. School starts in four days...

A Week of Ickiness

A HUGE thanks to everyone that commented last week. It made my month! It makes me feel less isolated then I am. Why am I so isolated you may ask? Because I felt unfunctionably run down last week. Then Madeleine gets a fever of 103.7 and so the weekend is now caput. I feel better, Madeleine feels a little better, and of course Julio isn't doing good. Maybe by the time school roles around next week, it will all be out of our system.

I should really be writing my paper for my education class. It's due in two hours. All University of Phoenix papers are due Pacific Time so I have until 3:00 a.m. here. I don't know why, I felt compelled to write a little something right now. I suppose it was that Mocha Iced Coffee I had around 7:oo tonight that is supposed to carry me through. I had to take Don to meet his son for dinner tonight, so I got a little work done while waiting for him. I got a lot done when we got back and he dozed off. I just don't have it in me to finish, knowing how early the kids will get me up. I'll get 10% docked off per day of being late. Right now, that doesn't sound so bad...

Does my blog have the plague?

There has been close to zero activity here since I came on to blogger. Julio did a test comment and you can actually post a comment with no problem. I would hope that if there was a problem those few that do leave their words would let me know. I am seriously considering livejournal now where people leave a little thought after they read you pouring your heart out. I know things are crazy for everyone, but if you have the time to read, you have the additional 30 seconds it takes to say "hey I was here," or even leave the word "oh..." Even a little Happy Anniversary would've been nice besides the two people that I heard that from. C'mon guys, where's the love?

My son has grown wings...

As you can tell I've been a little too busy to write lately, but am anxious to share my stories with those kind enough to read them.

I want to share with you how Julian has been doing this summer. We had our theater camp end two weeks ago and it was worth all the exhaustion I felt afterwards. One visiting theater director told us, "If the children see you are energetic and excited, then the kids will be too." This is very true for the other actors but Julian. He fought with me every day to go. That unruly boy I mentioned earlier was just too annoying to deal with. This was entirely true, but does that mean you change your routine for one person? I put my blinders on and trudged through, and made him too. What I've learned about raising Julian is you have to be persistent. He'll give you every excuse in the book why he shouldn't do something. He might even give in to tears. But it is worth the struggle in the end.

On the last day we put on our play for the parents. I couldn't enjoy sitting in the audience because I was the "stage manager." I had seen enough rehearsals though to satisfy me. Melissa, the camp director, gave Julian a major role as ring master. He learned his scenes with ease, putting that enormous memory to good use, besides memorizing NASCAR statistics. By showtime he was one of the stars of the show. Without prompting, he recited his lines with proper emphasis and did his own blocking. He also did an improv skit with another girl his age that was reserved for a select few. Melissa said she was very impressed and said he was a natural. He received a lot of compliments afterwards from other parents. He felt proud and, of course, I was beaming.

Madeleine had her moment to shine earlier this year with her recital, so when she had a hard time memorizing her few lines, it was no big deal. She was the youngest in this class and, therefore, was the only one that couldn't read her script. I would prompt her and practice with her, but the whole thing was a little too advanced for her age.

I have always believed that theater excercises are therapeutic for a child. I know this because I benefited from them when I was a teen. I remember when I had to yell at another classmate in an improv excercise. For a quiet wallflower like myself, it was exhilarating. I know with the social issues Julian has; it was just what he needed.

Another wonderful thing happened this summer that was due to our persistence which really paid off. Julian is now an expert bike rider. He was only ever comfortable with his training wheels and always fought us and cried when prodded to try a little harder. Or, it was how his helmet made him uncomfortable, even though it was the right size. This has gone on for years and I put my foot down this year. The first half of the summer was agonizing, when every session would end in bitter tears. I had the idea to let him try coasting down a slight incline to get a feel for the type of balance he would have to maintain. Later on, when I googled how to ride a bike, that is one of the ideas a website suggested. Now it's a piece of cake for him. Some days I can't get him to come inside. He said he loves feeling the wind in his face. Yet another reason for me to cry happy tears over how he has blossomed.

How 10 years fly by...

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. We actually got to go out to a nice Italian restaurant while my sister babysat. Julio made me the equivalent of a mixed tape from those of you old enough to remember those. Now they are called playlists for your iPod. He compiled music we've enjoyed and "us" kind of romantic music we like. We listened to it in the car on the way to and back. It was a nice touch to a great evening.

I thought it was pretty neat to say five years. Now 10 years makes me sound so old. It also is an accomplishment. I can say this after seeing many people I know not make it to five years married together, who got hitched after us. There have been rough patches for us at times, but these were due to external reasons. The core reasons we fell in love have never changed. We still enjoy the same activities together, and laugh at the same type of humor together. We have evolved, and the relationship has to evolve with it. Being parents is the biggest change a relationship can face. This also tends to be, from what I've seen, when people like to call it quits. It is something to ride out. Our children are at an age that they do things together and don't require as much of our attention as they once did. We can start and finish a conversation now when they are awake.

The depression Julio and I have both experienced at different times could have been deal breakers to the average couple. Knowing that this was something to ride out and be patient about has now let us reap the benefits of remaining together. We come out stronger. Don't let me forget to say having God in a relationshp makes it all the better too!

I also think of people that attended our wedding that day. How far away everyone is now, compared to everyone living so close to where it was held in Telford, PA. How lives have changed, and children have grown up and some have been born. Then I thought about all the new wonderful people we have come to know since then that make our life more enjoyable. Oh and if I look serious in this picture, it's because I cried while saying my vows...it was a happy cry.
I want to put out a little video montage of our years together in the next two weeks. Please check back for that. In the meantime, if you want to leave your thoughts here for me, it would mean a lot.

I wouldn't trade the past 10 years for anything. I'm so glad to say I didn't let this one get away. That's why I've been holding him hostage in my basement.

I'm switching to Blogger!

My site karenholliday.com has now become part of the blogger community. The site will be going through some major transformations in the next two weeks, please check back!

Karen--the soccer mom/theater coach

My kids have spent part of their summer in front of the TV, and half of that TV time is on the Wii.  The other part is getting them out doing new things.  Every Friday is soccer camp.  I heard from a local mom about a Top soccer program in my home town of Harleysville at my old middle school.  Top soccer is a non competitive program for children with any kind of emotional, mental, or physical program that prohibits them from entering a competitive program.  With Julian's anxiety, I thought it would be good for him.  Plus, his teachers at school urged me this summer to get him involved in something where he could interact with other kids.  The director told us Madeleine could sign up to when he saw what a fuss she made over not being on the "team."  So now I'm officially a soccer mom. 

The other great thing that fell in my lap was being asked to assist a theater camp for kids.  I'd get paid and my kids could come free!  My children used every excuse in the book not to go.  It's not Julian's thing, and Madeleine followed his lead.  I said today could be a trial.  Madeleine loved it.  If it hadn't been for one of the boys there, Julian would've loved it too.  I don't blame him.  This one little boy who is only six, used inappropriate language, would not sit still, or has any idea what personal space is.  I spent most of my time keeping one step ahead of him so he would not take things from the other kids, step on their feet or annoy them in general.  He left Julian and Madeleine alone but it still bothered Julian to see a child act this way.  This is summer camp, it's not school.  A parent paid for their child to be there.  An inept parent at best, but nonetheless a parent.  How do I know this?  Because I don't care what problem your child has, bad words do not come out of their mouth involuntarily.  They are used regularly in the home for them to become a part of a child's vocabulary.  When I am with him one on one, he does do better.  When he says his lines for our play, he says them with the right emphasis.  I just want to know the right way to get him to pay attention for our week together without losing my temper.  He just ruins things for the rest of all the wonderful kids there.

We played a name game and I led the children in vocal warm-ups before practicing our play that will be performed Friday.  It's called Circus Capers.  Julian is one of two ring masters and Madeleine is a tight rope walker.  What a great (free) opportunity to experience theater like this for them.  I wish I had a mom more like me!

A Relaxing Vacation

My cousin moved down the Jersey shore last year and this was our first summer visiting her home.  An actual vacation complete with hotel and expenses was out of the question this year.  My cousins were gracious to offer us a room.  The vacation was better than any we could ever have at a hotel, plus the coffee was better.  (I stayed with decaf, for those of you aware of my doctor's orders.)

On the ride down, I got a call from my academic advisor with the results from my transcript analysis.  She said I have good news and bad news.  The good news:  I was able to transfer 24 credits from West Chester University to apply to my associates.  I can't remember how many I had altogether, 30 or 40.  She said this was almost unheard of.  The average person carries over about 12.  With that I can graduate late next year!  The bad news?  I have to stop taking the classes I have now or pay for them out of pocket.  Since it took so long for the transcript to go through, I guess it was hard for my academic advisor to know which classes I had to take.  I guess I qualified out of the ones I was taking.  That was good considering that annoying professor in the one.  The other class I'm actually upset I'm not taking anymore.  It was called Critical Thinking.  I might have qualified out of it, but I've never taken a class like it in my life.  What I was most impressed with was the text book. I think it should be required reading for Americans.  It really helps divide rhetoric from truth.  It completely broke down why America invaded Iraq, and how the U.S. didn't check the credibility of its sources before they invaded.  It had a sassy fun writing style that made hard vocabulary fun to learn.  What I was most impressed with was how it called patriotism and nationalism a fallacy in thinking.  That's kind of gutsy to say in America, but it is true.  So I had the week off of school which I haven't had since I began in March.  It was so nice not to have to worry about homework on vacation.

I love feeling completely immersed in my surroundings on vacation, so it's like I got to pretend I lived down the shore.  I love it.  I love the town my cousin lives in, and I love the closeness of the bay.  I love how a free zoo is only 20 minutes away.  The excitement I feel when I'm on the boardwalk, she gets to experience year round.  We went to a used book sale at the Ocean City library the night we got down there (big shock!).  I got the complete Alfred Lord Tennyson poems for a quarter, in light of just watching Anne of Green Gables as a family last week.  I wish I could walk through the woods reciting "The Lady of Shallot" with my new book, but then my kids would really think I was off my rocker.

The next day we went to the Cape May zoo.  This was our first time and we loved it.  It's better than the little zoo in Norristown near us that's getting to cost as much as the Philly zoo.  We hung around a local bookstore and went home.  Sunday was our exciting day going to the beach and taking their boat around the bay.  This was definitely the kids' favorite day.  The boat couldn't go fast enough or go over waves enough for them.  It was better than a ride at an amusement park.  The idea of a boat for transportation is so romantic to me.  I think of how there were parts of Prince Edward Island only accesible by boat a hundred years ago (besides of course access to the mainland).  How wonderful it would be to travel to your destination by boat.  (Yes, I'm still reading my LMM journal, so her life is very much on my mind.) Even Julio got to take command and learned the ropes.  Being on a boat became a very addictive activity for both of us.  That night we waited in line for Mack's boardwalk pizza, it's always worth the wait.

We were on vacation in a packed house and I loved every minute of it.  My cousin and her husband have four girls (big sister + triplets), then my aunt and uncle, and us.  I reconnected with my aunt who I hadn't seen in forever.  It's safe to say I am more like her than any other relative I have, including my sisters.  We are the same height, same blue eyes, and the same love of everything theatrical.  I pressed her for family genealogy since I really don't know enough about that side of the family.  It's comforting to know you are who you are because of a shared genetical background with someone. 

The kids had fun connecting with their cousins, and we grew closer to our family.  My cousin's husband Tim is a pilot was on call the week we went down.  He was asked to fly none other than Yoko Ono!  I would've been more excited about her if I hadn't read Cynthia Lennon's book "John."  Now I know the truth...

Back to reality here, a new class starts Monday.

Loss of a Kindred Spirit

I received a call Friday that Marian the woman I look after was going to die today.  It was a big shock to me.  I just had a nice visit with her in the hospital two weeks ago.  She was alert and talkative.  She was set to go home in a few days.  What I didn't know was that she lost the will to live.  She was tired of suffering.  Her daughter Margie who is a nurse put her on hospice care and said there was every indication that she would die.

We were all out shopping when I received the call and rushed to her house.  The kids stayed in the living room having fun with her husband Don while I went to her bedside.  Julian had a sense of what was going on but playing his Gameboy with Don was a nice distraction.  Madeleine really didn't ask too many questions and was happy enough playing with their cats to think about anything.  When I approached Marian, I could tell she was conscious.  Her eyes widened when she saw me.  Because of her oxygen mask, she couldn't talk.  I brushed her hair with my hands and told her about Madeleine's ballet recital and things that I knew she would like to hear.  I stayed at her side for awhile but could hear the children getting a little ramy.  I told her I loved her and kissed her forehead.  She closed her eyes at that moment in recognition of it.  I even got a little smile when I said goodbye. 

I am grateful for the little time I had to spend with Marian.  We would sit together and talk on the days I would come over.  She had such a kind gentle way about her.  She had the most beautiful blue sparkly eyes.  She loved children and quickly took to mine.  She would play Barbies with Madeleine without a second thought.  She was quick witted and funny.  She was everything I could ever dream of in a grandmother.  The world doesn't realize what it lost. 

Julio and I held hands tightly on the ride home.  Don is losing the love of his life.  We all have to be kind to one another, but especially to our families.  Cherish and enjoy the time you do have now. 

 

 

Hallelujah!

It has been two years since my mother's last battle with cancer.  Her bloodwork yesterday revealed she is still in the clear and doing great.  Her oncologist was left scratching his head.  He thought for sure it would return by now.  A few months ago, she was convinced she would die soon.  I hope this perks her spirits enough to realize you aren't always a statistic. 

Generations of Creativity

What a weekend I now have behind me!  After months and months of hints about being invited to a local jam session, my time had come.  I hung out in a basement while a few guys worked on perfecting songs that were to be performed the next day.  We had a guy on base, drums, and two on guitars.  I had auditioned with a band about a year ago that was never going to work out.  Still, it got my appetite whet for singing with a band.  The lead guitarist showed me a list of songs and we bounced a couple back and forth.  I sang for him in his computer room while the rest of the band practiced.  When I was done, I heard applause in the other room.  I breathed a sigh of relief, because all of them are so talented.  Everyone insisted that I come sing in the front room.  I sang Carol King's "You've Got a Friend," and Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me."  I felt I secured a spot in their minds as a real singer.  Now the challenge remained:  Could I pull it off in front of a hundred people?

I think I did.  The loud applause still rings in my ears.  I wasn't comfortable enough to let it all hang out, like the band wanted.   I did play it safe in certain spots but felt that was better than hearing my voice unexpectantly crack.  Then I sang back up for "Lay Down Sally."  I loved it.  I felt a part of the band, like I had a special membership that not many could sign up for.  Even days later, my body is still itching to get in front of a mic and sing my heart out.  I don't know when they are practicing again, but I pray it's soon.

The other half of the weekend was spent running my daughter to ballet rehersal and then her recital.  She has been nervous all these months to be on stage.  When we arrived for rehersal, not many dancers were there yet.  Madeleine walked out on the stage, and never looked back.  She was hamming it up for the small crowd that was there, and they loved it.  So, on Sunday she was itching to get on stage and perform. (I guess it's in the genes...)  She brought me to tears seeing her perform in front of hundreds of people and not be nervous.  She is now convinced she wants to try tap lessons and gymnastics.  Let me just pull that pocket change out of my wallet now...

 

 

Not so much the teachers pet (more like the anti-pet!!)

When can you dislike someone you've never met?  When it's your online professor.  I had it easy with my first two classes.  I am now in Essay Writing and Critical Thinking.  My Critical Thinking professor is a gem.  She's very helpful and encouraging.  The Essay Writing professor is the exact opposite.  If there was a way to be annoying and debasing in a forum, she wrote the book.  I am convinced she is premenopausal, menopausal or postmenopausal.  Whatever the stage when some women go off their rocker and act bipolar (to put it kindly). 

She virtually yells at her students.  Since she can't yell at us in a classroom, she uses lots of exclamation points.  This week she said I've done near perfect work, and then yelled at me twice.  I got in trouble because I added a P.S. to a comment I posted.  She said, "Can we keep it professional please!"  Then she yelled at me for doing my assignment wrong.  I finally had to say something.  In a forum that is just for her and I, I wrote, "In business communication, we learned that using an exclamation point can mean you are yelling.  Is that what you intended with your exclamation point?"  I should have added a few !!!! in there just for emphasis. 

 

The school year was just a bad dream...

Our family is settled into "summer."  I love it.  I love not getting up so early and not being on such a ridgid schedule.  Julian's not the only one that's taking a break.  Once he would get home, I would have the daunting task of keeping him on track with his homework while preparing dinner.  I have always been an anti-schedule person.  I'd love to be, it's just something I've always struggled with.  It comes much more naturally to take each day as it comes and enjoy it. 

I feel for those parents that don't get summers with their kids.  Growing up, each summer was filled with adventure.  My childhood friend, Justin and I would ride our bikes all over creation.  My cousin Kim and I would stay up late (or all night).  When we were about 11, we fondly remember taking a walk at 5:oo a.m. just to say we did it.  My mom stayed home with us and we were allowed a lot of freedom over the summer.  I want to give my kids a sense of that, or at the very least, a moment to feel bored after such a hectic school year. 

The last weeks of school this year were very hectic.  Julian did well overall on his grades and he is officially a fifth grader.  We visited Harrisburg for his class trip, which was more interesting for the adults than the kids.  We had a brief tour of the state capitol that included sitting in on the House of Representatives while they were in session.  You may wonder, what do they do all day?  Well, for our brief 15 minutes they discussed: Should firehalls that host bingo nights allow smoking?  Big issues.  After a lot of rhetoric was passed around, nothing got resolved.  I always wondered what Harrisburg looked like.  The furthest west I had been was Penn State twelve years before for a Tori Amos concert.  I found it to be clean for the most part and small compared to Philadelphia and Reading.  It looked like not a whole lot goes on there.   

I was shocked by how "mature" his classmates were compared to him.  Everyone on our tour bus had a Nintendo DS and spent the ride texting eachother.  Of course, Julian and another boy had just a plain old Gameboy.  It was a good thing for the most part, because some kids were texting inappropriate words to eachother.  It was just a shock how one year can change a class.  Last year on the third grade field trip, I found everyone acting age appropriate.  Now, there wasn't a day that went by when Julian didn't ask me what a certain curse word meant, or what did the punchline mean to an offensive joke they told on the bus. 

It's hard to see your baby grow up. So at least for the next couple months, he becomes all mine again.

 

A Strange Bedfellow

Bravo to the ones of you who have not abandoned my blog, especially after the last post.  As those of you know, I am not all doom and gloom.  There are periods that are worse than others and sometimes there is a need to express myself in my darkest moments.  Thanks for hearing me out and enduring with me.  Now onto bigger and brighter--It's been a full week!  It started out with me tearing my hair out because both of my final projects were do for my two classes.  I got the final grade for my Business Communication...A-.  Not what the A+ perfectionist in me wanted but hey--I'll take it!  The jury still is out for General Ed. 

The next day I was asked to do third shift for the wonderful couple I sometimes take care of.  I had told them I couldn't do third shift in the past  since I could sleep through any cry for help.  Since they were so desperate for someone to fill in, they didn't mind.  Also, a week before Marian was rushed to the hospital with multiple problems.  She was still in the ICU recovering.  So it was Don and I.  He has his mind pretty much in tact.  His wit is sharper than the average person. We watched the Phillies game together and talked.  He told me the story of how his own father was troubleshooting a submarine problem in WWI with Thomas Edison!  He figured it out before Thomas did.  I love storied like that.

Then we "settled" in for the night.  I was told by his daughter I didn't have to wake myself up throughout the night to check on him.  I just had to keep one ear open just in case.  I would sleep in Marian's bed which was the twin across from his.  I would've slept in the reclining chair in the living room, but I was afraid I wouldn't hear him at all then.  It was midnight and we said goodnight.  Then I heard whispers.  He was talking so low I couldn't make anything out.  He finally told me what he was saying and that was that.

Then he started whispering again, but this time in his sleep.  It became full fledged talking at one point like he was on the phone.  Sometimes he would actually answer me back.  I'd say, "Don, are you talking to me?"  He'd say, "No, somebody else."  I couldn't tell if he was trying to be funny, but then he'd just continue on talking.  This went on most of the night.  I would slip in and out of consciousness. I'm not sure how much sleep I really got. 

If there is one thing I've learned about (my) life, it's never say never.  There are things that I've sworn I would never do: waitress while pregnant, live in the town I now live in, and work in any capacity overnight.  I got through it.  For my next post, I know you want to hear all about the fourth grade field trip to our state capital.

Heavy Company

After great pain, a formal feeling comes. The Nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs.

                                                                                ~Emily Dickinson

I would rather this site be used for celebrating life, but it is also used to work out my deepest feelings.  I have always been a pensive thinker, seeing poetry in all aspects of life.  Joni Mitchell said it best, "When you dig down deep/ you lose good sleep/ and it makes you heavy company."  The poetry that pricks the subconscious bringing inner most emotions to light has always touched me more than say a poem about a flower.  Right now I feel I'm in a hypersensitive state, almost too conscious of things around me.  Things that I should let go of I still feel within me.  This past year has hit me too hard in many aspects of my life, for a person that is already a sensitive soul to begin with.  I just feel like retracting myself because I can't stand another blow.  Someone told me recently that being of French background is a curse because you feel everything.  What part does depression play as opposed to genetic makeup?  Yes, I said the D word.  I thought that was all behind me but I'm forced to deal with the fact that it's upon me again.

As far as people go I'm not holding grudges.  Yes, we all make mistakes.  Yes, we should all forgive one another.  I get that.  It's not a question of that.  You can forgive someone that beat the crap out of you, but the bruises take awhile to heal, and they still cause pain.  Does this mean I'm a recluse?  That I've sworn off people?  No, I go about my day like everyone else.  There is a wall around my heart though for its own protection.  And to be honest, only therapy will make it go away. Until that happens usually writing poems helps, but this time around gardening really helps too.  Geez, you know I'm getting old when I start talking about gardening.  In addition, I have become all to conscious of my own shortcomings and how they affect others.  Yes, the logical thing to do would be to correct them and be a better person.  The real me just wants to crawl under a rock and stay put. 

There are many good things in my life right now that I will share soon, I just had to get this out in the open.  It's not easy for me to put this out there for you to be reading.  Some people are more empathetic than others.  I just figure life is not all rainbows and bunny rabbits for anyone.  Sometimes it's better to deal with the less appealing aspects of ourselves than pretend they don't exist.  If I am relating to one person out there so they don't feel as alone, this post was not in vain.

...see?  I even feel a little better getting this off my chest.

The other Burns girl

Ah it's has been an eternity by internet standards since my last post.  For two weeks I was driving my sister to college.  Julie you ask?  No...the other Burns girl, Jennifer.  Not many people actually know I have two sisters.  The reason being she never wanted to be a part of my life, or of anyone's life for that matter.  It's easy to live in your own little world and judge people from your own pedestal.  But there's more to the story...

My sister Jen and I are just about 10 years apart, shy of two months.  So, right there that creates a generational gap.  I moved an hour away when she was ten.  Within a year, I was pregnant and married.  She did come to the wedding. She did see Julian once when he was an infant.  The next time she saw him, he was eager, friendly three year old.  I had dropped my mom off at home around the same time she got off the bus from school.  She got off the bus, looked at Julian, went around him, and went in the door.  Ok so you're a wanna-be-goth-chic, does that mean you have to be evil to children too?  That set the stage on how I would feel about her for the next seven years.  It's very complicated as to why she is this way, and why my parents condone it.  I don't understand it myself, since I missed the formation of her as an individual.

Flash forward to two weeks ago.  My mom asks me to take my sister to college.  She doesn't drive, and her friend's car broke down.  Oh, my mom doesn't drive either.  She never got used to not having public transportation when my family migrated from Philadelphia.  I think my mom and my sister think that driving is too big a responsibility on themselves.  I am much more of the independent set like my other sister, so I don't get it.  So I say as long as she gives me gas money, I am able to help her.  She is my sister after all.  Maybe having her confined to a car with me with force her to open her eyes and see I'm not a bad person (oh and my children aren't either).

My plan works!  After two days of this, her heart grew three times it's size.  She had to spend time at my house part of the week, and actually had a good time.  She loved my kids and said she would babysitter sometime.  I'm not going to rush on that offer but the sentiment was good.  She told my other sister, she thought all kids were brats before seeing mine.  The logic in that statement is nil, all the way around.  I think that's why she had no desire to know mine.  I'm just glad to have given her a glimpse into how wonderful children can be.  It's a shame that my son will be ten this year and she's missed out on so much due to her "prejudice."

For everything here I've just mentioned, you'd think we would have nothing in common.  She actually has the goal of majoring in French.  She loves discussing Victorian novels and their signifigance in society (or lack thereof).  Other times, she was far from my reaches of conversation with talk of anime, German techno, and Japanese glam rock.  I found her to be harsh and insecure at the same time.  I don't think we'll start talking on a regular basis.  It's just nice to be able to think of her now with pleasant thoughts in mind.

A Letter to a Punk

Inspired by today's events, I present to you a letter I will never give, to a jerk who needs a wake up call.

Dear Punk,

Did you feel cool giving me the middle finger after almost running over my daughter and me? Do you feel a detached sense of yourself to fellow humans that allows you not feel remorse? Good for you. You will go on with your life hurting many people, emotionally and physically. We almost became the latter. Maybe it's the thrill that turns you on. Do you want to see our blood on your windshield? Do you want the street cred that living in a small town denies you?

Let me tell you what a normal person would have done in your situation. When they drive through a busy parking lot, normal people watch for pedestrians (they are the people walking to and from their cars, by the way). I know big words confuse you.  If they should see one of these pe-des-tri-ans, they don't speed up hoping that person will just move. They slow down knowing they could be charged with homicide. You see, there are people that have little legs called children that can't move as fast as you would like them to. Hard to imagine, but you were one of those helpless little people yourself in a time long ago...like 5 years ago.

I had to yell at you to slow down. Any protective mother would have done so. Someone had to put you in your place. Someone had to tell you no, maybe it's the first time you heard the word. Maybe you felt one up'ed by me in front of your girlfriend. That's why you gave me the finger. Am I supposed to feel threatened now? Am I supposed to feel that now YOU have the upper hand? Will your girlfriend somehow have more respect for you seeing you're a rebel? Don't be so silly. A MAN would have slowed down. A MAN would have seen a child and downshifted. Your age may show you are a man on your criminal record, but you will never be a real man without a level of compassion. If your girlfriend is white trash like you, you've hit the jackpot. If she is wise, she will leave you to seek out real human contact.

I yelled at you that someday you would have children. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you'll demand that your girlfriend gets an abortion because you'll never be able to love anyone but yourself. Maybe someday you and your wife will struggle for years with infertility, crying together after each negative on the pregnancy tests.  No it's a possibility that you may never have children.  But give me the privilege of raising the ones I have.

Jerk.

Your friendly small town neighbor,

Karen

Thanks for letting me vent, readers.  This style of blog writing is not my own.  I was inspired by the mom that writes the blog www.suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com.  She had written a letter to a childless young woman annoyed at her own child's presence.  It's a very therapeutic way of writing. And the moral of the story?  If you or your teen are an aggressive driver...stop being one.  Let your teen know they are mortal.  Dying happens too easily everyday, often for stupid reasons.

New Audio Drama Ready for Download

Episode 1 of the new audio Hippocratic Oath written by George Maglio is ready for download here (28MB).  An opening title sequence can be seen here (12MB). (Let me know if you can't see it.) Episode two is ready on the website. Here's the blurb:

If you die in the future, what do they put on your gravestone? The Doctor is like the spinning of the earth, the fire of the stars, and the flow of time itself and he will find me a cure. Still with everything that has happened I fear that even the Doctor doesn’t have the time or the resources to remedy me and save everyone else. And if my death can save all these people…


Moria Skye
1977 - 5021?

The cast is amazing and so is the editing. If you haven't downloaded any audios from SegalChord Productions, you don't know what you're missing! Just for fun, I've included some reviews of my work with them over the years.

Project Alpha:
"Karen Holliday was wonderful as Moira (she imitates choking REALLY well!)"

Hortima Prime:
"First thing that comes to mind, this was very much Karen Holliday's finest performance as Moira Skye thus far. Moira is a much more matter-of-fact companion than Christine was, and Karen's delivery fits Moira's character perfectly. The Doctor-Moira relationship is still developing, and it will be interesting to see the direction that the DWAD production staff will take it."

Various:
"I love Moira Skye! She has just so much flavor & interesting little things about her!"

"I like Moira. While I will certainly miss Christine, I think Moira will have a chance to shine more as she no longer has to share the spotlight. I didn't think Moira comes across as unnatural; I just see her as such a different character than Christine, more mature and practical, less prone to emotional extremes. Also, as Ms. Holliday has a chance to flesh out her portrayal, I think we'll see her excel in the role."

A quick thanks for everyone's encouragment and patience (my editor's at least!). I'm honored to lend my voice to this great series and hope to continue with them after my run is up as Moira. It's a great outlet for my creative juices. This newest audio challenged me as an actor and was fun in the process. From what I understand, the series is now available on iTunes as well.

The crazy week I can now put behind me

Lately I've been blogging (when I can) more about my life and less on social commentary. This post will have a little bit of both. I know I use the titles stay at home mom and paraprofessional interchangably. Most times it's the former. Once in awhile it's the latter; such is the life of a substitute. I've been thinking what's a position that I could bring my daughter to, since childcare would cost me an arm and a leg (and a kidney). In my current position there are too many ifs. I can work if Julio's daycare at work can take Madeleine. If I haven't scheduled anything important already. So every once in awhile I'll see an ad for assistance for an elderly couple. Help with shopping, cooking, etc. I saw one for part-time and gave it a shot. The woman on the other end said the position was filled but would I consider a substitute position? What the heck? I brought Madeleine with me to the interview and we all hit it off right away. I came in the following week for orientation. I felt overwhelmed with certain required duties but I've reached the end of the rope for part-time easy going employment. The majority of the work would be no sweat. I've worked for a cranky old man before. (cough, cough DENTIST cough, cough) So as long as everyone involved was nice, I'd be okay.
I quickly got a call to substitute a few days after orientation. I had to juggle having Philly this week, the in-laws up, house hunting with my brother-in-law, homework and everything else. I didn't have much time to think how nervous I'd be. I've had some pretty interesting jobs, but giving an old person a shower? While they're...naked? I wasn't freaked out about the idea so much, but more scared of one of them falling and me being alone to deal with the aftermath.
The children had fun with the in-laws while I had my first day of work. It's so strange how you can know someone ten years and still feel uncomfortable around them. Then others you can know for five minutes and feel at home in their company. I got the warm fuzzy feeling from this couple. They are about 80 years old and still have their minds well in tact. Not only that, but they are incredibly funny, entertaining people. Literally. She was a soloist and did children's theatre. He sang in a barbershop quartet for 30 years. My kind of people. He is constantly cracking jokes, and she cracks them back. They spent their Friday night watching Law and Order and looking at old miscellaneous papers. I sat next to her like a granddaughter would her grandmother as she related stories of her past. She showed me her birth certificate (b. 1926) which was not written up till she turned 16. We take having birth certificates for granted nowadays. She had love notes she gave her husband, and an old passport. From there, we got to talk about France. They visited 1975, me, 1995. It was a mutual goal to see Mont St. Michel in Normandy. It's rare for me to meet someone else who has visited there. The wife talked about shopping and dining in Paris. And...I'm getting paid for this? The truth be told, I miss my grandparents dearly. I miss the peace I feel when talking with with them, even though we had little in common. It was emotionally calming to me to be reminded of a time when it was just they and I. I felt I had a little of that back that night. However, I never had to give them a shower.
It has to be hard for a person to have someone else shower you. I take for granted that I can have peace in the shower because there is no one else there. So I wanted to keep their dignity in tact while showering them. I brought the wife in first. I didn't feel weird at all. Again, just concerned she would fall. She sat down and undressed. I could tell how relaxing it was to her to have a shower. It was more like girl time than work. We chatted away like we knew eachother's souls. Like I was looking at my older self in the mirror. She did not fall so my goal was accomplished. Her husband was much more pickier. He is more self sufficient than his wife, but I was unclear on what was what he could do and what he couldn't. Thank goodness he took care of his private needs because I would have been uncomfortable being it's my first night. We all survived.

When I got home I was exhausted and realized I still had homework. Got that done. Woke up today and realized I had homework for the other class which is now considered late. I'm just glad this week is done and pray next week isn't so crazy.

It never hurts to ask...

This week has been frustrating with Julio still being in pain and having his car in the shop for a week. I have been carless and in this town I'm discovering it's not very walkable. I haven't been able to take Madeleine to preschool, I couldn't pick Julian up from school yesterday when he had a bathroom accident. I was starting to walk the 3/4 of a mile there (since he missed the bus home) and Julian's aide came to my rescue! She picked us up and drove us to and from. It was sad to me that I couldn't think of one person that would be home to help me. I'm friendly enough with the neighbor but don't feel comfortable asking her for help. The other neighbors are aloof and distant. Oh and the other one that is friendly I think is creepy.

The title of this post is about a completely different topic, but now that I'm looking at it perhaps I should apply it in other arenas. Well this story involves the Decemberists. Remember that I preordered a Colin Meloy CD, and he was going to sign the first 300 copies? Well I missed out on that. However, when I initially ordered they somehow charged me twice. We got them to take the charge off but wound up getting two CDs. Both without Colin's signature. So I e-mailed their "store" telling them my conscience would not let me keep the other CD. I would mail it back to them. I also wrote how upset I was I missed out on the signed copies and if I sent my own copy, could it be signed? I never dreamed Jim Davis would write back, why not Colin Meloy? Well a woman wrote back thanking me for my honesty and if I sent both back, she would send me a signed copy that was a part of a few additional one he signed. I'm so excited! And all I had to do was ask.

Weekend Wrap Up

 Last Friday was our "dating" anniversary that we always celebrate in little ways. It is our eleventh year together as a couple. For those of you who didn't know us back then, this picture is of us. Shocking, yes. We both were a little skinnier and both had more hair on our heads. You would think we were dating already in this picture, but we were both just huggy sort of people then. (Now we're old and bitingly sarcastic.) Well, my anniversary surprise was coming home from work to a sparkling clean house. And for Julio, he got the chance buy a particular book he had his eye on (Spiderman something, sorry I can't remember!) Last year was the extra fancy anniversary with a cruise on the Spirit of Philadelphia so it makes sense this year was low key.
The majority of our anniversary was spent in traffic. It had been awhile since I'd seen my cousin and her family so we planned a sleepover from Friday to Saturday. Friday night traffic in Philly? Bad idea. It was actually a stand still from King of Prussia to the Vine Street Expressway. So around 9:30 we arrived and got to spend some fun quality time before everyone went to bed. (Even though I had to complete an assigment due that night.) The next day the weather seemed like it was going to hold up so we went to a used book sale at the Ocean City (NJ) library. Now I have more books to add to my endless pile. (Yes, still reading the L.M.M. journal) Then it started to rain and we switched gears to go to the Hamilton Mall. While there, Julio had been complaining of groin pain. Not an area that should have too much pain. As we were leaving, it got considerably worse. I called the family doctor who advised to go to the ER. Julio was reluctant to go to a hospital (Shore Memorial) so far from home. But after Kim said she heard glowing recommendations and his pain kept increasing, we went. The children were lovingly watched by her and my uncle at Friendly's while we went. The wait wasn't bad and the staff was friendly enough. It turned out he had an infection in a gland above his right testicle. Hey, you've been reading my blog long enough, it's time you knew my husband had some. They gave him pain meds and an antibiotic and released him. We were so worried it was something more complicated. By this time it was 10:00. The wind and rain picked up, the kids were already sound asleep, it made sense to spend another night, which my cousin graciously offered. (Thanks!)We were up and out the next day so sad to say goodbye to everyone.

When we got home I was so excited to see a letter from Jim Davis in our mailbox. Not knowing who Jim Davis is in our household is blasphemous so I'll tell you. He's the creator of the Garfield comic. About 2 weeks ago, I had an idea to e-mail Jim Davis and tell him how much my son loves Garfield. I went on Garfield.com and there's a link to e-mail him. I told him how my son has read every book, and how it helps with his anxiety. Also, I thanked him for introducing my son to phrases like "little black book." I included my address but only expected an e-mail back, if that. What a treat to get an autographed postcard and a letter thanking us for such a wonderful email. Julian didn't know what to think. He was so excited and at the same time worried if he now was going to be famous too. Since he was three, he doesn't like attention drawn to him in that way. He thought I wrote Jim Davis with the comic strip idea he had...oops. Maybe next time. That was just a nice touch to a rollercoaster weekend.

The New Girl in Class

I did it.  I really did it.  A decision 10 years in the making has been made.  Today is my first day as a college student in exactly 10 years.  Why so long?  I wasn't sure what to major in, needy babies turning into needy children, juggling a job, housework, layoffs and *poof* 10 years fly by.  Financial aid was another deterent...all those forms.  I have to say my cousin babied me 10 years ago.  She was attending West Chester University already and had done everything by herself. I can't say the process would have gone as smooth if not for her.  So, this time around I was assigned an enrollment counselor that helped me through every step.

I will be going to college online through the University of Phoenix.  Not my first choice.  I mean isn't half the fun of college  sitting in class arguing with the professor? (Okay, that happened in just one class.) But if this is the only way I'm able to get back to earning a degree, then so be it.  My credits haven't transferred yet, but I do have enough credits under my belt to shorten the time it will take to earn an associate's degree.  The first two classes are general classes everyone has to take, so I will be upset if they don't accept the general classes I took so long ago.  I don't see it being a problem. I am getting my associate's to be a paraprofessional (teacher's aide).  I technically am one now part-time.  Getting this degree would help me earn more money when I decide to work full time.  It will also be easier down the road to get my bachelor's in education, which is my long term goal.

So far it's been...weird.  I have an assignment that my professor for business communication posted on our class "website" (for lack of a better word).  I have to read an article and give my thoughts on it.  Then to be counted as participating, I have to reply to posts written by fellow classmates.  I haven't wrapped my head around it completely yet.

I have read the bios from my other classmates and some are a lot like me.  Stay-at-home moms going for the same degree.  Others are older, but all women so far.  If I had my choice I would be a college student forever.  I love the learning process.  I could skip those pesky math courses though.  Wikipedia is just not enough to satisfy me. 

An Artist in Our Midst

As you can see, I have put up my portrait that the talented artist ceido has created.  I knew she could bring out aspects of me that a photo couldn't do.  She is an extremely talented artist.  I'd be willing to bet she did this picture in one sitting just using a pen.  Please give the number one commentor on my site some props in the comment section.  I'm sure that would brighten her day!

A Better Meatloaf

...or a better title: what I wish I knew 10 years ago about cooking.  It is rare that I flex my domestic goddess muscles too often on my website because it would look like the inverted muscle Popeye attempts to flex before a spinach binge.  But the little knowledge I have I will pass onto my lurky readers. 

So you think you're a meatloaf aficionado? Just consider some of these tips.  First it's important to buy the right kind of meat.  Buying ground chuck will give you a juicier/flavorful meatloaf.  I get the 90/10 ground beef.  If that's too expensive for you, just scrape the fat off the top like I used to do.  Then I have a handy tip for those end pieces of bread that my family can't stand to eat.  Put them in a food processor with a little milk, and presto! You have breadcrumbs.  It makes your meatloaf more tender than dry breadcrumbs. You knew that already?  Oh the years I've wasted finding something else to make for dinner, when I discovered I was out of store-bought breadcrumbs. 

Grating an onion rather than chopping it helps it cook through and makes your meatloaf taste better.  Are you a cheese lover like me?  Gently add a 1/2 cup of grated cheddar cheese to the mix, and another 1/2 cup on top. 

I read mixing the meatloaf gently prevents it from becoming tough when it bakes.  I can't have raw meat getting on my heels and pearls when I cook so I mix the ingredients gently with rubber gloves because I find utensils just make things messier.

I make a simple sauce to top my meatloaf using peach or pineapple syrup (from the can), cornstarch, brown sugar and ketchup.  If I'm pressed for time plain old ketchup suffices.

Make sure the meatloaf rests after you take it out of the oven. This allows the juices to redistribute, and gives you time to finish watching that TLC show you love so much before all chaos breaks loose when you call everyone to supper.

In the same line of thought that you would call broccoli "baby trees,"  the name for meatloaf around our house is endearingly called "mommy meat."  I guess years ago I was trying to make it sound more appealing to my picky two-year old son.  If this works for you, by all means there is no copyright on my idea.  And if I can help one family cut out their McDonald's run once a week, then dog gone it this post has not been in vain.

Gotta run, I think I smell it burning now.

The Chiropractor Has A New Patient

Julian woke me up at 4:00 a.m. because he woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. He's sleeping soundly and I've been up since then with my mind racing over trivial things no matter how I've tried to calm it. It's now 6:30.  It doesn't help that I'm in the middle of a stomach bug and could probably use the rest. But while up and not interrupted, why not blog?

I was reading over a little magazine my chiropractor gives out and saw a small paragraph on how chiropractic care helps children with ADHD.  I thought, why not?  I have full trust in my chiropractor that he wouldn't do anything that wasn't necessary and he's not the money hungry type like a few I've known.  That is proven in my next sentence.  I was concerned about the cost, only to learn a child's visit is only $12!  I scheduled a visit for that very day.

It turns out his back was completely out of alignment!  Even his hip was out of alignment!  It's hard for me to grasp the idea of children's backs not being easily self-adjusting.  Ideally, our bodies are supposed to self-align when we go to sleep at night (you stomach sleepers know who you are).   As adults, we are constantly putting strain on our bodies.  What does Julian do but reach for that PS2 controller and sit back on his beanbag? 

I am praying this was the trick we needed to get the rest of the school year on track.  He is doing well overall, but that's because of having an aid. Being more consistent with his Omega 3 oil supplements should help as well.  He will need adjustments now every week for a few weeks so his body can be "taught" where everything is supposed to stay.  Before this visit, he was complaining of neck pain. Because of his anxiety, it's hard sometimes to know what is real and what is overexaggerated.  It turns out, the neck pain was real and now feels better. 

At school today, Julian's going to get a copy of his music program on DVD and I hope to have the part with his solo put up on my site for your viewing pleasure.  I will just have to wait for my I.T. department (aka Julio) to upload it for me.

Now I ask you, how am I going to get through today with only five hours sleep?

The Decemberists--still obsessed

First, I'm finally up and running again after a bad sinus infection.  So now is catch up time, including this blog.  It occurred to me last week that I might not see the Decemberists this year at all.  One member of the band was not able to complete last year's tour and the rest of the schedule was cancelled.  So for this year their lead singer/songwriter Colin Meloy is venturing out on his own tour starting April 7th through May 3rd.  The closest he comes to Philly is Brooklyn.  If I didn't have kids that had to be at school/preschool the next day I would go.  I suppose there is always a chance of another tour later in the year, so I'll hold onto that.

Yes, this Decemberist obsession is not going away anytime soon.  My hubby is quite perplexed because it's the only band I listen to.  He's not used to me like this.  He didn't know me that well in seventh grade when I was obsessed with the Carpenters.  Or in ninth grade when everything was the Beatles.  Eleventh grade ushered in an obsession with female singer/songwriters like Ann Wilson, Natalie Merchant, Joan Baez, Joni Mitchell, Tori Amos, and Sarah McLachlan.  All these singers have been etched into my heart and shall remain there.  He did see me through my Jewel phase but not since then (and her selling out) have I been so excited about music.

So to get my fix, I preordered Colin Meloy Sings Live from their website.  The first 300 orders are personally signed by Colin himself!  I'm not able to tell which number I was so I'll hope for the best.  Here's the rundown of types of songs on the album from their website:

"Included on Sings Live! are songs from Meloy's first band, Tarkio, as well as cuts from every Decemberists full-length pre-The Crane Wife. There is also a tune from the 2006 EP Picaresqueties, two previously unreleased originals ("Dracula's Daughter" and "Wonder"), bits of covers of songs by the Smiths, R.E.M., Pink Floyd, and Fleetwood Mac, and a traditional folk song in debt to Shirley Collins' arrangement."

This is Colin's third solo album. The others are Colin Meloy Sings Morrissey, and Colin Meloy Sings Shirley Collins.

So you may ask what makes the Decemberists so special? Most of Colin's songs are deep.  Everyone in the band is an accomplished musician and so are experts at evoking the exact type of emotion Colin's songs need.  No two songs sound alike.  From the last post about them, I have a new appreciation for their album Castaways and Cutouts.  The song "Odalisque" is a favorite.

Julio has loved the Decemberists since 2005.  As you can tell from his blog, there are other bands out there he likes too.  The band that should receive honorable mention is Camera Obscura.  They rock, just in a completely other way.

At least I'm not the only one.  Madeleine is still hooked on the song "Crane Wife" (part 1).  She prefers it as a lullaby.

I guess it's my turn...

I've felt so bad for all my friends and family because this winter has been so hard on most of them.  I've had 24 hour periods that I felt I was getting sick, and the next day I was fine.  So of course the one weekend we had big plans, we can't go.  It started Friday with a slight sore throat and the chills.  Saturday I woke up to a major sore throat and coughing.  Today has been a little better, but now I have more "productive" coughs. 

I haven't followed the advice I've given everyone that has helped me all winter: Take flax seed oil supplements.  Maybe you have something else that works, all I know is that is what has worked for me (in addition to normal vitamins, etc.).  I was so busy this past week, I didn't take them at all.  This is not something I've dreamt up, this is recommended in the book Perscription for Nutritional Healing under preventing sinus infections category.  If I never mentioned it before it's an excellent book to have in your library. 

Well, tomorrow should be better and I'll have more energy to blog.  Look for upcoming articles on the Decemberists, the latest audio drama in the works, and Julian's solo!

A Night Spent with the Bravest of Women

Before our vacation, I had the opportunity to spend a night with women who have cancer.  Most of these women are mothers of young children, and that's where having courage has to be it's hardest.  Let me tell you why I was there.

My mother is currently in remission.  She has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  The only thing the doctor could say is that it will come back, possibly stronger than before.  It has a five year survival rate after diagnosis.  The good news is it has been about five years, and she really is doing great.  A while back, she had seen a flyer for a makeup class for cancer patients and asked if I wanted to go.  I thought,'You're asking me to do something with you...and it involves being girly?'  Please understand that my mother and I never had things like a "mother/daughter day"  or spent time together when I was young.  I had to learn about being girly from other women.  So now she wants to go to a make up class...with me?  It was time with my mother that I always wanted.

The make up class was held at a local hospital in a conference room.  There were six women besides my mom who had cancer.  Most of those women had breast cancer.  Most of the women brought along a sister or a friend for support.  Our hostess was a woman who owns a local salon that specializes in wigs for cancer patients.  She taught the women how to wear a turban properly, and the different style wigs that are available.  The women started to open up to eachother.  One had said how they make realistic wigs that look like you have roots.  I thought, never again am I going to complain that my roots are showing when I'm in between salon visits. 

Then, they started talking about their kids.  This was heartbreaking for me.  It's tiring enough being mom to a toddler, imagine after chemotherapy treatment.  These women were in their thirties and early forties.  What surprised me was how upbeat most of them seemed.  I know a positive attitude is everything, but it seemed like they thought cancer is a rite of passage.  Most of them had a family member and/or a neighbor with cancer.  Thirty years ago, was there a large group of young women like this suffering with cancer?  It's not supposed to be something everyone goes through.  I had read the population that suffers the most because of cancer right now is African-american women in their thirties.  I can name three young African-american women I know of that have died of cancer in the past six years.  What is the toxic cocktail of environmental/genetic/nutritional deficiencies that are the cause of this?

On a lighter note, each woman got a big tote of top brand make up.  Almost each big name cosmetic company donated something.   The hostess showed them how to not look so tired while in treatment, so people can stop telling them they look so tired.  If you would like more information on these types of classes, you can contact your local hospital, Wellness Center, or Gilda's club.

I know my mom enjoyed the class, and I enjoyed the time with her.  When I dropped her off, I called Julio to let him know I was coming home.  He said I was going to be upset because of a botched project he had been working on for me.  I said, "After tonight honey, I'm just glad to be going home to my healthy family."  If there's anything that puts it in perspective for me, it was witnessing those women's strength through suffering.  What have I to complain about?  Absolutely nothing.

Our Winter Vacation part 3

Friday was our romantic day out.  Where do we go?  Pawn shops and used book stores, of course!  Ocean City has one pawn shop and I don't recommend going there.  It was dirty and disorganized.  What was extremely surprising was, I found a Charlie and Lola DVD for Madeleine there.  That is her very favorite show.  By this time of the week, the cheerleaders were swarming into OC for their convention.  This affected where we were going to eat that night.  Val had recommended Reflections at the Holiday Inn.  It was voted the most romantic restaurant in Ocean City.  I was afraid of how pricey it could be, but I could be guaranteed it was cheerleader free. 

It was a very romantic restaurant.  We sat by the fire and we're one of the only couples there.  I prejudged the place, thinking they would never offer specials.  It said in the back of their menu they have $20 3 course meals from 5-6 p.m.  Of course we got there at 7:00.  The food was good, but overpriced for my taste.  Afterwards, we walked to the beach.  This was the first time this vacation we had done so.  It was almost surreal.  Clouds hung very low above us, and it was so quiet.  It's so humbling to stand there and look out at the ocean.  It got very cold after awhile, and thus ended our date. 

In OC, they have an indoor skating rink at the Carousel Hotel that is open year round.  I used to go ice skating often back "in the day."  Now it's every three years or so.  If I lived near a rink, it would be a hobby I would love to develop.  So all of us went over to the Carousel on Saturday.  Andrea and I were going skating, but I convinced the kids to give it a try.  Normally, they have the adult sized walkers there so we wouldn't be falling everywhere, but no longer had them.  It took a few minutes, but I was skating without a walker and feeling pretty confident.  Once I got my balance, I helped Madeleine onto the ice and we went very slow.  She did good considering she'd never done it before.  Julian, however, took to it like a fish in water.  With his walker, he was fearlessly zooming around.  He's normally very reluctant to do new things like this, so he made me very proud that day.

I will now tell you the one place to avoid at all costs in Ocean City.  The Breakfast Cafe in West Ocean City right on Rt. 50 will make you nauseous in more ways than one.  It advertises it's the locals favorite place to eat.  We thought this true, because at the next table the marketing director for the OC convention center introduced himself to us and began to chat.  Don't the locals have standards?  When we first come in, Mark starts putting together the largest tables so we can all sit together.  These tables were not wiped off, but we figure the waitress would do that when she comes.  When we have to ask her to wipe them, she makes excuses not to.  She says another waitress was there eating, so it's not dirty.  Yeah...clue number one to high tail it outta there.  There's no kid menus, so we order a regular cheeseburger for Julian.  There are no indications of what comes on the side with the meal.  Assuming from the price, I think it comes with fries.  I feel assured when the waitress asks if he wants fries with his meal.  So we all order and wait...and wait....and wait some more.  There are only two other people in this tiny hole in the wall (it hurts to refer to this place as a cafe, let alone a restaurant) so what's the big deal?  She brings our meals out one by one with five minute increments in between.  When we ask what was the hold up, she had no clue what we meant.  The food was bland and overall pretty gross.

We get our bill--$40!  The fries were not included in any meal, and were $3.00 as a side.  I bring to her attention that she asked if we wanted fries, so I assumed it came with the meal.  She said chips come with the meal.  I say no where on the menu is that mentioned.  She said it was just understood.  All we could do was walk out of there with our stomachs in tact, and pray not have food poisoning. 

The food didn't sit that well on the three hour ride back home, but we held it down.  It snowed signifigantly while we were away and was a nice treat for the kids to see.  Oh, and that diet I was supposed to be faithful to while on vacation...let's say I have some work to do now that I'm home.



 

Our Winter Vacation part 2

 

Our view from the condo.

(Click on it to get the full appreciation of the scenery.) 

We all woke up late Saturday, and had breakfast in.  Before heading down to Pep Boys, we stopped at the boardwalk.  You would never know it was the dead of winter.  It was packed.  It wasn't even the slightest bit warm, but there was a boat show that weekend that drew the crowds.  I confess, I let the diet go by the wayside during this time.  C'mon, Thrasher's french fries?  How can I say no?  It had been about three years since I had them, so resistance was futile. (You can tell I've been married to Julio for almost 10 years when I'm using Star Trek references.) 

Sunday was back to the boardwalk for games at Trimper's.  Quite on the pricey side, but the games lastest longer than most.  If you save up the tickets you've won, it actually pays off.  Last year, the daughter of the family we were with, saved enough to qualify for a PS2.  Later in the week on our date night, Mark and Val took the kids back there.  I guess the manager was feeling generous, and gave the kids way beyond what they qualified for.  Julian got a Nascar large scale car,  Madeleine got a webkin, a magic wand, and a "boo-boo bear."  That would be unheard of at Chucky E. Cheese!  So as you will see from our trip, we definitely made out well, because of visiting in the winter. 

Monday was lounge around day, and Tuesday was the pool.  The kids were so excited, especially after being cooped up Monday.  Julian was especially excited to get away from his school work.  I guess I didn't mention the three ton bag of work his teacher gave me for him.  Because of his ADHD he can fall behind very easily, so this way he wouldn't miss much.  It was quiet at the pool when we arrived and had a great time.  We did Denny's for dinner which happened to be kids eat free night. 

As the week progressed, we realized how much we didn't know about eachother.  We've been friends with Mark and Val for six years, but lost contact for the past two.  The biggest suprise what what a talented family they are.  They certainly all gave me a run for my money in Kareoke Revolution.  It's rare for me to share my passion for singing with people, so I was spoiled for that week.  Why?  Because they were hooked on the game, and purchased the latest version when we went out a few days later.  

Thursday we took a trip to Virginia Beach.  We took the Bay Bridge Tunnel, and stopped at the gift shop.  You feel like you're in the middle of nowhere.  We got to see cargo ships, naval ships, and airplanes.  It was very cold so we limited our time on the pier.  Mark wanted to fish, so the kids had fun helping.  We drove around Norfolk and headed for Virginia Beach.  As Julio mentioned in his blog, they had a set restaurant they wanted to take us to.  The town was completely dead, which is expected for February.  It's night and day when you compare it to OC.  The only place that looked open and not weird was Abbey Road.  You have to be a Beatles fan to appreciate it's awesomeness.  If you're not, they have a nice fish tank with most of the types of fish from "Finding Nemo."  The waitress was uber friendly and the food was great.  There was even a guy singing with his guitar.  Strangely enough, he didn't sing any Beatles' songs.  The place is a must see if you're ever down that way. 

Sorry I'm so long between installments, I wish my blog was the only thing I had to worry about every day! 

Our Winter Vacation part 1

I feel very out of the loop with my friends because I was gone for nine days with no internet access.  Julio does have internet on his phone, but it's not the same.  So, allow me to spin you a tale of our adventures. 

We left on a Friday night so Julian wouldn't miss too much school.  We thought it'd be nice to let the kids sleep on the way down and we could talk.  It would be the closest thing to a date night since last July.  We left around eight, and the kids fell asleep around 9:30.  We have fond memories of quiet conversations on the trip down the last time we took a winter vacation to OC, MD about two years ago.  Julio stopped at a few Barnes and Nobles on the way before they closed at 11:00 (of course).  There was hardly any traffic so we were making good time.  Then around 12:30 it all went wrong. 

We hear a putputput sound and pull over.  Sure enough, we had a flat.  We get out in the freezing cold and unload our trunk.  We must have looked like weirdos with all our luggage out next to the highway so we could reach the donut.  My greatest fear was that Julio would be hit as he tried to change the tire.  There was only an inch between him and where the cars whiz by on the right lane.  I stood in front of him because I had a white coat and would be spotted easier.  It turns out we didn't have the right tool.  The car came with special rims that look nice, but are a pain in the butt taking off.  We were  about 10 minutes from Rehoboth on Route 1.  We call our friends who (thank God) are night owls. They say they'll be there in 40 minutes but that the police should come by soon to help.  So we wait and wait.  The kids remained asleep.  Finally, a state trooper pulls up along beside us and looks like he's in a hurry.  He asks if we have friends coming.  When we say yes he speeds away, without us being able to squeeze in another word.  Ok, then...thanks a lot.

So our friends come and we felt such a weight lifted off our shoulders.  Mark tried to help, but didn't have the specific tool either.  Mark called AAA and they came out within 45 minutes.  During this time, we loaded the kids into their van and they were wide awake.  We didn't get to the condo until 4:30.  The next night, we took the car to Pepboys in Salisbury, MD and it was good to go.  The next part of the story will focus on the rest of our nine days by the bay, and the awesomeness that ensued.

Almost there...

Julio's progress has been slow in getting better.  I had to drag him to the doctor yesterday because I knew he should be better by now.  The doctor gave him a different antibiotic and said he was perscribing a stronger cough medicine.  When we picked it up, it was the exact same cough medicine he was already prescribed!  Maybe it was a mistake on CVS's end or maybe the cranky doctor didn't check his records right. 

I feel an impatience to get him better because we are actually going to Ocean City, MD on Friday for a week.  We have never taken a vacation during the winter months, but our friends invited us down with them.  Julio had wanted to go to Ocean City over the summer, and the rates just keep going up.  I doubt we could comfortably afford a roach infested motel from June to August down there.  Last year we stayed at a cottage in Chincoteague Island and went to OC for the day.  Plus, the things we like to do down there don't always involve the beach.  We are big into used book stores.  For Julio, it's relaxing just to walk around a mall during the day.  It helps that the biggest country store on the East coast will be a half hour away: The Country House near Salisbury.  It's my favorite country store of all time.  My favorite part of OC is the bay.  The condo our friends have is right on the bay, so what more could I ask for?  It will be nice going down with our friends Marc and Val and their daughter Andrea.  We have never taken a vacation with another family before, but we all get along so well I have no worries. 

Now I just gotta get that husband in shape so he can enjoy it!

Lacking Culture? Check This Out...

... a bit of French fun... the Pauline Ester video for "Oui, Je L'adore."  Don't understand french?  Just enjoy the listening to the language and watch how Pauline finds herself in peril in this very quirky video. 

Here's a question...

that maybe I can get a response to.  Does anybody still listen to tapes anymore?  I have some music that I just can not find on CD so sometimes I still get out the old tape player to hear them.  When I'm in a Renaissance mood, I get out a tape from the band Separate Reality.  I had bought it long ago the day I saw them at Musikfest with Poncho Man (please see August 2006 for reference).  It's an awesome tape from a local band that long ago disbanded.  If there's an inexpensive way to record tapes into MP3 format, I don't know about it. 

The other "sacred" tape to me is my french tape.  This is my most prized possession from my college days.  My french teacher Michel was from France and recorded well known songs for our homework.  We had to write out what we heard on most of the songs.  There was a wide span of music from french traditional renaissance type songs to contemporary.  He included songs from Charles Trenet. My favorite song by him is "Chant d'amour" (Song of love).  Of course, he added some Edith Piaf.  I had never heard of her before this, but fell in love with the famous song "La Vie en Rose" (literally Life in Pink, or A Beautiful Life).  It's because of this tape I ran out and purchased the movie recently made about her.  It's definitely worth seeing.  My favorite song on the tape is by Pauline Ester called "Oui, Je l'adore" (Yes, I love him). I have tried purchasing a CD from her on my Zune pass, but it wasn't available.  There's a great Celine Dion song called "Pour que Tu m'aimes encore" (For that you love me again). It's just a great tape all around that I can't part with.  You can check out any of these artists on YouTube by the way.

And of course when I took voice lessons, my teachers always recorded the sessions on tape so I could practice at home.  I pull them out sometimes and get sentimental about songs I practiced.  Put me in front of a person that sight reads and I'm a happy person.

So those are my special tapes I can not part with and own a tape player especially for.  Now I'm wondering--am I the only one?