A Night Spent with the Bravest of Women

Before our vacation, I had the opportunity to spend a night with women who have cancer.  Most of these women are mothers of young children, and that's where having courage has to be it's hardest.  Let me tell you why I was there.

My mother is currently in remission.  She has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  The only thing the doctor could say is that it will come back, possibly stronger than before.  It has a five year survival rate after diagnosis.  The good news is it has been about five years, and she really is doing great.  A while back, she had seen a flyer for a makeup class for cancer patients and asked if I wanted to go.  I thought,'You're asking me to do something with you...and it involves being girly?'  Please understand that my mother and I never had things like a "mother/daughter day"  or spent time together when I was young.  I had to learn about being girly from other women.  So now she wants to go to a make up class...with me?  It was time with my mother that I always wanted.

The make up class was held at a local hospital in a conference room.  There were six women besides my mom who had cancer.  Most of those women had breast cancer.  Most of the women brought along a sister or a friend for support.  Our hostess was a woman who owns a local salon that specializes in wigs for cancer patients.  She taught the women how to wear a turban properly, and the different style wigs that are available.  The women started to open up to eachother.  One had said how they make realistic wigs that look like you have roots.  I thought, never again am I going to complain that my roots are showing when I'm in between salon visits. 

Then, they started talking about their kids.  This was heartbreaking for me.  It's tiring enough being mom to a toddler, imagine after chemotherapy treatment.  These women were in their thirties and early forties.  What surprised me was how upbeat most of them seemed.  I know a positive attitude is everything, but it seemed like they thought cancer is a rite of passage.  Most of them had a family member and/or a neighbor with cancer.  Thirty years ago, was there a large group of young women like this suffering with cancer?  It's not supposed to be something everyone goes through.  I had read the population that suffers the most because of cancer right now is African-american women in their thirties.  I can name three young African-american women I know of that have died of cancer in the past six years.  What is the toxic cocktail of environmental/genetic/nutritional deficiencies that are the cause of this?

On a lighter note, each woman got a big tote of top brand make up.  Almost each big name cosmetic company donated something.   The hostess showed them how to not look so tired while in treatment, so people can stop telling them they look so tired.  If you would like more information on these types of classes, you can contact your local hospital, Wellness Center, or Gilda's club.

I know my mom enjoyed the class, and I enjoyed the time with her.  When I dropped her off, I called Julio to let him know I was coming home.  He said I was going to be upset because of a botched project he had been working on for me.  I said, "After tonight honey, I'm just glad to be going home to my healthy family."  If there's anything that puts it in perspective for me, it was witnessing those women's strength through suffering.  What have I to complain about?  Absolutely nothing.